Animals & Feelings-

Um árslok og ferðalög

2012-01-04T05:56:00.000Z

Árið 2011 var að líða. Nú er vikan rétt orðin hálfnuð en hún mun vera sú fyrsta þessa árs. Við Jóna héldum af landi brott í stórkostlegt og andstreymt flugvintýri yfir hafið og óvinveitt landamæri þann 15. desember. Komum við þó að flugvellinum þegar okkur varð tilkynnt um að flugið okkar hefði tekist á loft heilum sólarhring fyrr. Eða þá að við hefðum komið heilum sólarhring of seint. Við vorum látin borga einhver gjöld til að halda í miðana okkar heim, því í svona tilviki falla allir miðar úr gildi, sem keyptir voru saman, skyldi maður missa af einu flugi. Það er að segja, nema maður borgi þessi gjöld, sem við og gerðum. Fólkið sem við leituðum aðstoðar hjá leyfði okkur að fljúga til New York, fyrsta okkar tveggja áfangastaða, en þó þyrftum við að fleyta okkur áfram sjálf á lokaáfangastað okkar, Montreal.

Eftir svefnlaust flug yfir hafið og inn í stærstu borg Bandaríkjanna hófumst við handa við að koma sjálfum okkur til Montreal. Við fengum hjálp frá geðfelldri gamalli úrvinda konu sem komst í óbeint samband við Icelandair starfsfólk á sjálfu Íslandi. Þá sagði konan okkur að Ísland hefði gefið okkur grænt ljós, en að ekki kæmi það þó til að vera skráð fyrr en kl. 9 næsta dag á íslenskum tíma. Á þeirri forsendu tókum við skuggalegan sendiferðabíl að enn skuggalegra móteli. Þar biðu okkar hlutir sem ég hafði aðeins séð í amerískum bíómyndum (enda vorum nú í New York, þótt ekkert til þess benti). Mótelið lá skammt frá víðáttustóru flugvallar- „svæði“ sem hefur örugglega verið töluvert stærra en öll Reykjavík. Í hjarta heillar iðnaðarborgar þar sem slagæðin er átta akreina breið. Við hliðina á húsinu blasti við eyðimörk gulra amerískra skólastrætóa í löngum samsíða röðum. Anddyrið var svart, með litlu fiskabúri þar sem þrír eða fjórir veslings koifiska syntu hring eftir hring í kringum lítinn foss sem sendi frá sér blautan nið um allt anddyrið. Þrjár tröppur leiddu til gangs þar sem loftið var þakið speglum og veggirnir voru drapplitaðir, svolítið á litinn eins og gömul útmáð mynd af laxi í matseðli á einhverjum sveittum amerísk-kínverskum skyndibitastað sem boðar niðurgang.
Herbergið var til vinstri. Það var svo sem fínt, sæmilega hreint, en fyrir ofan rúmið var stór loftspegill, og speglar á veggjunum, og skrýtið sturtubað, og hrífandi útsýni yfir skólastrætógarðinn. Við hlógum, tókum myndir og pöntuðum okkur pítsu. Ég bjóst við þjóðsagnakenndri New York pítsu, kannski út af því að heilinn minn var í sultu. Hún var hins vegar fremur óminnisstæð, bragðlítil og skorpan of mikil.

Næsta dag vöknuðum við stirð eftir svefnlausa nótt. Ég kíkti út um þykku gardínurnar á skólastrætógarðinn sem var einnig að vakna. Hver einasti strætó á ferð í langri biðröð sem snéri beint inn til okkar.

Skuggalegur sendiferðabíll.

Konan sem sagði okkur að við hefðum fengið grænt ljós frá Icelandair hafði rangt fyrir sér, eða öllu heldur misskildi. Við máttum ekki fljúga. Miðinn var orðinn ónýtur, ógildur. Eins og hálfs tíma flug kostaði upp í 90,000 krónur á mann. Ég hringdi til Íslands, en allt fyrir ekki.

Þessa brjálæðis í stað stefndum við að miðbænum í gegnum flókna og uggvæna neðanjarðarlestakerfið í New York. Hver sekúnda sem maður kemur við súlurnar jafngildir tíu typpum. Svona var sagt í æsku.
Við keyptum rútumiða til Montréal. Níu tímar. Foreldrar mínir búnir að reyna að koma og sækja okkur af flugvelli tvisvar til einskis.

En svo lauk löngu heimkomu okkar um kvöldið. Ég sá nýju íbúðina hennar mömmu í fyrsta sinn, sá pabba, og allt var gott. Það var svo notalegt að vera loks í faðmi foreldra minna, þótt þau séu ekki lengur saman.
Litlir ljúffengir mömmumatarbitar voru bornir fram og foreldrum mínum tókst strax að slá á málefni sem kunni að tendra til óhjákvæmilegu tilhneigingar þeirra til að vilja alltaf rífast um eitt það ómerkilegasta sem manni dytti í hug að vera ósammála um. Í þetta sinn var það um alþjóðahafsvæði og vá þeirra í lögfræðilegu samhengi. Sjóræningjar komu einnig til sögunnar.

Pabbi hélt heim og við Jóna fórum að sofa.

Kannski að ég klári þessa sögu seinna.

Päivistys

2011-11-29T05:09:00.001Z

No mitä sanoa. Aikaa on paljon kulunut viimeisestä päivityksestäni. En oikeastaan muista, mihin viimein päättyi, enkä tietäisi mistä aloittaa.  Istun töissä, Savulahden keskuudessa sijaitsevassa hostelissa yövuorolla. Voin olla pitkiin aikoihin yksin yhtään sielua näkemättä. Minulla on siis aika paljon aikaa, nyt kuin opettaminen on jo lopussa. Olen ahertanut kieleni määrittelyn. Olen kirjoittanut lukemattomasti ja kaikki etenee hurjaa vauhtia, ainakin aikaisemmisiin versioihin verrattuna. Olen myös ollut tosi hyvä saamen kielen opiskelija. Taitavuuteni siinä on kasvanut huomattavasti. Ensi lumeet on saapuneet vasta muutama päivä sitten. Toisaalta en ole harujoitellut suomeani kovin paljon viime aikoina. Voisin kai, mutta olen ollut niin paljon sisällä, etten ole viitsinyt ketään näkemään.
Nyt lähtö kotimaahan jouluksi lähestyy ja jännitys suurenee. En ole nähnyt perhettäni lähes vuoteen. Äiti on muuttanut uuteen asuntoon, myynyt lapsuudenkotimme ja lähtenyt entisestä väliaikasesta asunnostaan. Isälla on diagnosoitu valtimonlaajentuma munuaisten ja sydämen välillä. Muttei sen ole oltava vielä vahingollinen.
Jónallakin kaikki menee hyvin. Hän hyppää nyt itsenäiseen työmaailmaan hänen ja neljän muiden ystävien perustamalla yhtiöllä. He ovat jo valinneet nimen. Heille tulee annettua paljon apua lahjakkaista ja avuliaista ystävistä. Yhtiön majoitus on Kaffi Hljómalindin yläpuolella, toisessa kerroksessa pienessä ullakossa. Toivottavasti siitä tulee menestys. Olen tosi innokas auttamaan heitä ja olisin ylpeä jos saisin osallistua heidän onnistumiseen.
Meillä menee hyvin ja uusi asunto on mahtava.
En jaksa odottaa pääsemään uudestaan kuntosaliin trainaamaan uuden vuoden jälkeen. Minusta tuntuu joskus, että selkälihakseni ovat näivettyneet liiallisen istumisen takia. Mutta pyöräilen välillä töihin ja takaisin. Kipu johtuu varmasti siitä, että lauantaina (?), yhtiön perustajat (Jóna mukaan luettuna) kokoontuivat meidän luona ja siihen joutui juoduksi vähän viinaa. Sitten me mentiin Bakkukseen, jossa puuhailin nostelemassa ystäviäni kiihkeästi tanssien, niin kun minulla on tapana tehdä. Minulla on tästä ollut koko selkä kipeänä. Vanhenenpa.
Ja näin se suunnilleen kävi.
Toivottavasti tämä oli ymmärrettävää.

Goodbye

2009-11-25T21:55:00.002Z

This is the death of this blog. I've had it since 2004 !

It will continue somewhere else. I think it looks better over at wordpress.

This is the new address:

http://retema.wordpress.com/

I've been wanting to do this for a while, but I have been held back by sentimentality.

All of this blog will be imported over there. So you can forget about this one all together.

I'm moving !

THIS IS MY WEEK

2009-11-25T21:34:00.001Z

So this is how my week is going to be :

DAGUR 1

nýrýni

T.S. Eliot: „Hefðin og hæfileiki einstaklingsins“ (Spor)

formalismi og strúktúralismi

Viktor Shklovskij: „Listin sem tækni“

Jurij Tynjanov: „On Literary Evolution“ (Uglan)

Roman Jakobson: „Tvær hliðar tungumálsins. Myndhvörf og nafnskipti“ (Spor)

franskur strúktúralismi

Barthes: „Introduction to the Structuralist Analysis of Narrative“ (Uglan)

DAGUR 2

Viðtökufræði

Wolfgang Iser: „The Reading Process. A Phenomenological Approach“ (Uglan)

Hans Robert Jauss: „Literary History as a Challenge to Literary Theory“ (Uglan)

Patrocinio P. Schweickhart: „Reading Ourselves. Towards a Feminist Theory of Reading“ (Uglan)

Lawrence Lipking: „Frankenstein, the True Story or, Rousseau Judges Jean-Jacques“ (Uglan)

Mary Lowe-Evans: „Reading with a „Nicer Eye“. Responding to Frankenstein“ (Uglan)

Hugmyndafræðigagnrýni

Louis Althusser: „Ideology and Ideological State Apparatuses“ (Uglan)

Póststrúktúralismi I (textatengsl)

Julia Kristeva: „Orð, tvíröddun og skáldsaga“ (Spor)

Mikhail M. Bakhtín: „Svar við spurningu frá ritstjórn tímaritsins Novij mír“ (Orðlist skáldsögunnar. Bókmenntafræðistofnun HÍ, 2005: 39-47, Uglan)

DAGUR 3

Póststrúktúralismi I (textatengsl)

Julia Kristeva: „Orð, tvíröddun og skáldsaga“ (Spor)

Mikhail M. Bakhtín: „Svar við spurningu frá ritstjórn tímaritsins Novij mír“ (Orðlist skáldsögunnar. Bókmenntafræðistofnun HÍ, 2005: 39-47, Uglan)

Póststrúktúralismi II: Dauði höfundarins

Roland Barthes: „Dauði höfundarins“ (Spor)

Michel Foucault: „Hvað er höfundur?“ (Alsæi, vald og þekking. Bókmenntafræðistofnun HÍ, 2005: 69-94, Uglan)

Póststrúkturalismi III (afbygging)

Jacques Derrida: „Um turna Babel“ (Ritið, 3/2004: 181-216)

DAGUR 4

Póststrúktúralismi IV (sálgreining, fyrri hluti)

Michel Foucault: „Við hinir, Viktoríumenn“ og „Bælingartilgátan.“ (Alsæi, vald og þekking. Bókmenntafræðistofnun HÍ, 2005: 180-211, Uglan)

Póststrúktúralismi V (sálgreining, síðari hluti)

Sveinn Yngvi Egilsson: „Myndmál sálma. Tilraun til túlkunar með hliðsjón af sálgreiningu Jacques Lacan.“ 1999. í Soffía Auður Birgisdóttir (ritstj) Kynlegir kvistir. Reykjavík. Uglur og ormar. (125-143) (Uglan)

Miðlatengsl

Dudley Andrews: „Aðlögun“ (Ritið, 1/2001: 99-111)

DAGUR 5

Menningarfræði og nýsöguhyggja.

Kenneth R. Johnston: „New Historicism“ í Nicholas Roe (ed). 2005. Oxford. Oxford University Press. (165-181) (Uglan)

Síðnýlendufræði

John McLeod: „From “Commonwealth” to “postcolonial” í John McLeod: Beginning postcolonialism. Manchester. Manchester University Press. 200. (6-35). (Uglan)

DAGUR 6

Kynferði, menning og bókmenntir I

Judith Butler: „Gender is burning“ úr Judith Butler. (1993) Bodies that matter. On the discursive limits of „sex“. New York. Routledge. (121-140) (Uglan)

Kynferði, menning og bókmenntir II

Geir Svansson: „Ósegjanleg ást. Hinsegin sögur og hinsegin fræði í íslensku samhengi.“ (Skírnir, haust 1998. 476-527) (Uglan)

Dagný Kristjánsdóttir: „Hinsegin raddir. Um sannar og lognar lesbíur í bókmenntum og listum.“ (Skírnir, haust 2003, s. 451-481) (Uglan)

Umhverfisgagnrýni

Guðni Elísson: „Efahyggja og afneitun. Ábyrg loftslagsumræða í fjölmiðlafári samtímans.“ Ritið 2/2008 (77-114)

Magnús Þór Snæbjörnsson: „Er Draumalandið sjálfshjálparbók handa hræddri þjóð? Skírnir. Haust. 2007 (464-495) (Uglan)

DAGUR 7

ALLT !

He walken' on me face

2009-11-24T00:06:00.002Z

Flavors of the month !

Coriander

Lemon Juice

Graflax

Capers

All together in couscous!

Sesep

2009-11-20T01:19:00.004Z

Duck.

I do not want to be the kind of man who wants to live in the forest but never does. Maybe when I am older, when I've read enough. I will build a lodge like the Crees do.

I think I know more about survival in the Boreal Forest than most boys my age. And the knowledge is building up. It's my favorite knowledge - how to live with the forest.

I will, one day, leave to go into the forest.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Hryllingsdraumar

2009-11-17T11:37:00.003Z

Í nótt dreymdi mig svo viðurstyggilegan, svo ógnvekjandi draum, að ég þori ekki alveg að segja frá honum í smáatriðum. En draumurinn var þannig að mamma mín gerði eitthvað sem mér leist mjög illa á. Við bróðir og pabbi vorum í einu herbergi þar sem ég var að reyna að sýna þeim eitthvað, en svo kom mamma og tók eitthvað úr tölvunni, fór aftur í herbergið rétt við hliðina á okkar. Hún kom svo aftur út með tvo geisladiska þar sem var það sem ég vildi ekki að hún tæki á diskunum, sem hún ætlaði að senda vinkonum sínum. Hún var hlæjandi, eins og hún hefði ekkert skynjað reiði mína. Ég varð svo reiður að ég tók í hausinn á henni og skellti honum í vegginn. Hún datt á skrifborðið eins og lífslaus dúkka. Ég var fokreiður og ég gubbaði reiðinni upp úr mér með löngum öskrum sem ég beindi til hennar, en hún var ekki að skilja, þannig að ég hélt áfram ofbeldinu, en nú eru smáatriðin farin að mást út, sem betur fer. En ég veit að ég hélt áfram að lúberja mömmu mína í klessu.

Stundum dreymir mig svona hryllilega drauma þar sem ég er svo rosalega ofsafenginn, svo æfur við mömmu mína að mig hryllir við sjálfum mér.

En í draumunum finn ég alltaf fyrir svo botnlausu og óafturkvæmu samviskubiti, eins og ég hafi gert eitthvað af mér sem ég gæti aldrei lagað. Ég las einhversstaðar að það sem skipti máli í svona draumum væri það hvernig dreymandanum liði, ekki það sem hann gerði.

Annars var dagurinn í gær frábær. Ég eldaði svo góðan mat. Hann var sko ljúffengur.

Kalt pasta, graflax, koreander/graslaukur/basilíka, kasjúhnetur, kapres, sýrður rjómi með sítrónu, og smá mozzarella. Sem meðlæti eldaði ég grófar franskar (kartöflusneiðar steiktar í pönnunni).

Hidehide.

2009-11-12T12:08:00.004Z

I dreamt I had a large animal hide over me and that I was traveling from the island of Montréal to somewhere else, but I was using the small corridors under the bridge to hide.

I could use the hide (most likely of a brown bear) as wings if I put it over myself and started beating my arms like a large bird.

Then I could use it to shapeshift into a groundhog and try to sneak across the border, but there was an electrified fence.

Also before that, I was looking for my new appartment in the "New-Finland" part of Montréal, but I couldn't for the life of me remember anything. I was somewhere where there was a really beautiful building, white with lines of black - looked like a fine printing house.

I was with Alixe and we were trying to figure out where I lived.

On the way we went to a small party, I saw Stéphanie, Antoine, Cassandre - my old friends, from before I move out, from before everything started getting more grown up.

I miss these people. I miss Alixe, I miss my friends.

In the dream I also stopped at Hutchison just to visit for one second, my brother was waiting in a car downstairs. Tim was still there, but the rest was different. After my room, in which some girl lives, there was another room, kind of empty with elbow high counters on 4 walls.

The colors were strange - red and black. I felt sad that it was so completely different.

But I feel like what I'll remember the most is my flying under the hide of the bear. It was heavy, and it was difficult.

We give her our bones / We give her the bear's head

2009-11-10T23:42:00.001Z

Ketsaka nỉtkiųi-ta

Sỏtko semuol koski-ta

Tiodomo Atuitsaka, sema-ha.

Sỉ attetsuka omảskiųi-ta

Manokeka Tẻkno

Ketsaia ẻtta hoko-ha

Sỏtko kitehi kiski-ta

Tuitsaia isisenla kỉskiųi-ta

Manokeia Heuto

Akẻtka tẻkno gả heuto sema-hioba

Sỉ manokeia ketsi, sema-hioba

Aiatemama nohimo

Aiatemama siho

Omateia ỉtkemo

Omateia ỉdlumi totemo

How to prepare Pemmican (mỉhna)

2009-11-09T23:06:00.003Z

Ảksanon amiro.

Eųi amiriųi-ta ibaro hasikmobmi. Heristede, taro s-takmonon, ỏkke-hǫ ảtkahabmi atenki.

Tảtkanon, euįde auiondiųo kmįaksi sį įeskitsade, kįo ys-ỏiųiǫ harrhibmi, adetiaųa-ta nidenuta. Iỏka ảiųi-ta kỏtkade sỉhbosỏtke (ausoke), sỉhmoke uitsatabmi gả ilảkka bielid gả ảtterrhil.

Ỉbmo istatsanon kmįaksi, tỉodomo vebodeia sį kẻlsadeia kẻlkiųi-ta. Akẻlsadeha ksoha-kǫ etana.

Words:

ảtkahabmi - to stay cut open, to be cut open for a long time

adetiaųa-ta nidenuta - it can be added into the mixture

ausivo - cranberry

sỉhmoa uitsabmi - dried and pulverized meat

vebodeia - one must tie it closed with a knot

kẻlsami kẻlkiųi-ta - hang up in the smokehole

akẻlsadeha - it must remain hung

Oliko upeata?

2009-11-06T20:43:00.002Z

Two days ago, Jóna and I celebrated our one year anniversary as a couple.

Our first time celebrating such a day.

It was a good day. Somehow we have been in a Christmassy mood - we have been watching Christmas movies, listening to mele kalikimaka:

Of course it's easy to be in such a mood here, where it's getting very dark and the mountains around the city are all white.

On our anniversary we went to Heiðmörk and I took pictures I like, which is enough to make any day a good one. Unfortunately my camera doesn't work anymore, which sucks. But I will try to get it fixed, maybe on monday.

We watched A Christmas Story, which is the movie with the leglamp and the little brother who couldn't put his arms down because his wintercoat was so thick. Then we did watched Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, which we had recorded on a VCR from the TV when I was a kid - I remembered some details very well (the chinese boy dropping something from his mouth when he is served a monkey head - always wondered what it was), and still remember the commercials, too.

Then we talked about the year. It's been a good one, varied and difficult, but very happy.

Having a girlfriend is different than I expected - in nearly every single way. But it's good. It's very good.

Is it wonderful?

2009-10-29T13:41:00.003Z

Today a girl from Lithuania asked to see more of my drawings. I said I would send her pictures I had put on my blog. So I went through my whole blog.
And now I am cemented in melancholy, preventing my chest from growing - however I can freely breath out.

I miss a lot of things from my past. I miss all my friends, sometimes less, sometimes more. But I miss them. I miss Hutchison terribly, but even further back in the past there are things I am slowly forgetting (in the sense that I am losing the sense of what their existence really felt like - from 3d to 2d).

Iceland has been good. Jóna and I are doing fine, fighting cabin fever and winter laze (laziness). Then buying candy. We buy candy - no one buys candy in Quebec. Here there's even a candy day, every week on Saturday, everywhere there is 50% off candy.

Yesterday I went to see a movie with the Finnish people - there was Maare, Kata (Icelandic), some finnish girl and me. The movie was Tummien perhosten koti, and it was good. It felt good to take part in something.
I also borrowed the book Kato Hei which is about spoken Finnish and it felt really good to know that I'm finally getting a hang of spoken Finnish.
I cannot state my love for Finnish - it has to be one of the most wonderful things in life.

I don't know what else to say. Life here is quite uneventful - we do our little things, we have fun, we are happy.

Everyday I wake up and there is a thick opaque gray everywhere outside.
Yesterday there were huge lenticular clouds all over Reykjavík:

It was impressive. I had never seen those before. You can see where I live from here. Right under the right most extremity the lowest ring, the white building. All day there was a strong sulfur smell in the air, because the wind was blowing from the east/south-east, bringing the smell from Hveragerði and Nesjavallir to us.
I like strange weather events like this. It binds everything into a single context. It's as if on certain days we felt our organs differently.

Also, I've been drawing:

A goose:

And a deer:

I guess it's in my usual style - a lot of small repetitive shapes and lines, animals.

Now, should I go to the gym?
Now, what shall I do?

Short song about a giant mushroom.

2009-10-18T01:17:00.002Z

Ksęri tǫ tedlis kỉuga koama.
Tapiḥe tỉdla osi, bielima.
Sỉu-ne, ỏdna kẻdlu s-kůridla.

Hatąu-ne, adi sidesla ta singisa.
Ảtkatąu-ne, adi ỏlbala ta tuitsasa.
Sỉu-ne, ỏdna ỏlba įilna uitsabmi!

Armbeygjur og rauðvín

2009-10-15T16:42:00.000Z

Það er lausn í þeim.

--

Ei enää kestä

2009-10-15T13:56:00.002Z

Hänen hoitonsa ei enää riitä. Puuttuu ystävyyttä - yksinäisyyttä on liikaa.
Täällä elämästäni on tullut ikävä toistuvuus, joka ei lähde minusta pois. Samat epätyydystävät hetket vihlovat syvempään jokaisella toistolla. En koskaan lähde tuosta kirotusta huoneesta pois. Jään joka päivä samaan tuoliin, saman pöydän viereen. Ei muutu mitään ajan mittaan. Aika menettää merkitsevyyttään - ei vielä ole päiviä vaan viikkoja. Katson, kun aurinko paistaa, ja haluan ulos - mutta joku nukkuu tai en rohkene ulos yksin, ystävätönnä.
Odotan iltahämärään asti, ja sehän lähestyy päivittäin. Puuttuu sitä, että elämästäni on höytyä, tyydytystä, seksiä.
Sama tuoli, sama pöytä, sama päivä, vaikka aika rientääkin, eteenpäin. En muista päiviäni enää.

En ole tyytyväinen elämääni enää. Puutteet ovat liian suuria.

Cabin Fever - Acid, bitter and sad.

2009-10-14T23:54:00.003Z

One chair, one bed.
Books and a computer.

Cabin fever hit me. I walked outside to the edges of the city, down to the sea. It was so windy, and it was raining. After the city lights stop, there is just darkness until Greenland.
I keep bothering myself with rules. I should not do this, I should not spend so much time on such eccentric trifles.

I feel very lonely sometimes. Tonight, especially. No fathom would dry the wet, no fathom would reach around.
Loneliness brings so much anger. I miss my friends, I miss my family.
Here, friends means something else, something more careful, more fragile.

I met up with Birna, after two years. Two years without seeing her. If I had known that when I saw her for the last time until now, I would have imploded into myself. I'm very happy to get the chance to be with her again. She remains one of my favorite persons. There's something about her - about how she expresses herself. No one forgets a first love. Or not until much, much later...

Kael sent me a moleskin book, with hard blank pages. I feel anxious, I don't know what to do. All these half-read, half-written books lying around. And here I am again. Today is over.
Days are so uneventful. Time goes by so quickly when nothing ever happens. The days melt into a vague feeling of having existed, but without the details which make life what it is.

At least if I lived somewhere out in the country side, it wouldn't be so difficult - it would just be the way it is.

Loneliness is so much harder, when it grabs you in a crowd.

JUNIPER

2009-10-14T15:21:00.004Z

I just got a package from Kael. It is BY FAR the best package I have ever recieved.

Petrified cone, birch bark, fir tea, book on animal tracks, JUNIPER !, a book I can use to draw plants/write things.

"...the manchild with the most tongues, largest steak, sharpest teeth and most tender heart."

All this written in a handwriting I have not seen enough.

I can feel the taste of the juniper berry in my mouth.
Allowing me to know a tree I have wanted to know.

Now I can use Jóna/my grandmother's tea pot to brew fir. For fir.

I love this man!

II

Also I got a book from my teacher Ármann Jakobsson, a book he wrote. Very short stories (few lines). I laughed, which is not given of any book I read.

And I found my phone, which I had lost. It was under a car, in the parking lot. Now the screen is crazy though.

Now I must complete this. It's so interesting because I can now have a complete profile of what kind of language Alopian is. What features it has. Name them, enunciate the linguistically.

III

THE SMELL OF THE JUNIPER

Allra best

2009-10-11T20:02:00.000Z

Í kvöld !

More on the structure of Alopian.

2009-10-07T10:19:00.000Z

Breaking it down:

Amero nitabiųas bai ongaidảrol ảbma Amerảrbi. Heli, demon, taspąulus, tatiskỉtkai, tsingius, iatori, etsibi otomỉlaroin hǫ ỉlmảlion eidikųamiba ỉlmảnke siǫ bảug amero, hỉtseronde hǫ kỉutkonde ảbma rekna nitabitis*. Itkalula ảrhẻbmi amero harrhitadni, ůtsarrhiųoka hǫ tỏldaųoka taḥetsa amerảrbi, tsadi ảrỏl-ka omitsotkes amerảrbi.

1. Amero nitabiųas bai ongaidảrol ảbma amerảrbi.
IPA: [amˈerʊ ˈnidɑbiwas bɑɪ ˈɔŋːɑɪðærʊl æʔpma amˈerærbi]
am-er-o nita-bi-was bai onga-id-aro-l abma am-er-arbi
(GEN-flower-GEN examin-ASP-PRESPART.INA.UNAGEN.Sg.NOM branch-NOM live-SUBST-science-GEN is-3rd.Sg.INA.UNAGEN GEN-flower-science)

lit. flowers examining branch of-biology is flower-science

2. Heli, demon, taspąulus, tatiskỉtkai, tsingius, iatori, etsibi otomỉlaroin hǫ ỉlmảlion eidikųamiba ỉlmảnke siǫ bảug amero, hỉtseronde hǫ kỉutkonde ảbma rekna nitabitis.
IPA: [ˈheli, ˈdemɔn, tasˈpɔʊlus, tʰɑdisˈkitkai, ˈtsɪŋːjus, jadˈorɪ, ˈɛtsibi ɔˈtʰomiːlɑrʊjn (h)u ˈilmæːʎjɔn ɛɪðˈiɡwɑmiba ˈilmæːŋce ʃʲu baʊɣ amˈerʊ, ˈçitserɔnɟe (h)u ˈcʰiːutkɔnɟe æʔpma ˈrɛʔkna ˈnidɑbidis]
h-el-i, demo-n, tas-bąul-us, ta-tis-k-itka-i, ts-ingi-us, iat-or-i, etsi-bi o-tomỉl-aro-in ho ilmal-ion eid-ikųa-miba ilman-ke sio bau-g am-er-o, hit-s-eron-de ho kiu-t-kon-de ảbma re-k-na nita-bi-tis
(SUBST-grow-SUBST, structure-NOM, SUBST-reproduction-SUBST, matter-SUBST.GEN-SUBST-melt-SUBST, SUBST-develop-SUBST, SUBST-disease-SUBST, characteristic-NOM INA-chemical-science-ADJ and relation-GROUP forward-change(slowly)-SUBST.GEN group-GEN to/for other-INA.GEN.Pl GEN-flower-GEN(.Pl), seaweed-PL-seaweed-GROUP-GEN and fungus-PL-fungus-GROUP-GEN is-3rd.Sg.INA.UNAGEN path-PL-path examin-ASP-SUBST.GEN)

lit. growing, structure, reproducing-each.other, matter-melting, self-changing, diseasing, characteristic chemical-scientific and grouprelationships of-forward-developing groups towards others of-flowers, of-seaweeds and of-fungi is paths of-examination)

3. Itkalula ảrhẻbmi amero harrhitadni, ůtsarrhiųoka hǫ tỏldaųoka taḥetsa amerảrbi, tsadi ảrỏl-ka omitsotkes amerảrbi.
IPA: [ˈitkɑlula ˈærçeʔpmi amˈerʊ ˈhɑʃidaʔtni, ˈœtsɑʃiwoga (h)u ˈtʰʊldawoga taˈʔɛtsa amˈerærbi, tsɑɟˈæːrʊl-ka ɔˈmitsɔtkɛs amˈerærbi]
itka-lu-la ảr-heda-mi am-er-o ha-rrhi-tadni, ů-tsa-rrhi-uoka ho tol-da-uoka ta-ḥ-etsa am-er-arbi, tsadi ar-ol--ka o-mits-ot-kes am-er-arbi
try-ASP-SYNCHRO know-CAUSAT-INF.AGEN.TRANS GEN-flower-GEN eat-ABLE-PAST.PART.AGEN.PL.GEN, live-CAUSAT-ABLE-PRES.PART.AGEN.PL.GEN and poison-CAUSAT-PRES.PART.PL.GEN UNAGEN.INA.3rd.Sg-PAST-begin GEN-flower-science-NOM, such.that science-GEN--with INA-ancient-GEN-SUPERL GEN-flower-science-NOM.

lit. while-trying to make known flowers edible, cureable and poisoning started flower-science, such that science-with most-ancient flower-science

Hope everything makes sense.
In the case of a lot of SUBST-noun-SUBST, that is because these nouns are the substantive form of the verbs, and to make a verb a substantive there is both prefixing and suffixing.
Two words are marked with -ABLE-, it simply means that they are marked with the infix -arrhi- which means 'which can, which is able' (hence harrhi- = edible, ha- to eat).
Few have the -GROUP-, which is an ending (-(i)on) meaning "the group of", i.e. going from seaweed (hidomi) to alga (hider-on), and mushroom (kỉuga) to fungi (kỉug-on).
A couple of nouns have noun-PL-noun, that's because the plural is an infix, and I couldn't figure out how to mark that, i.e. hideron becomes in the pl. genitive hỉtseronde, (hỉ-ts-eronde) where -ts- is the plural marking.

Egei ųảroin - Scientific language

2009-10-06T21:56:00.003Z

Yes, Alopian can be scientific.

Botany is a branch of biology which examines plants. Growth, structure, reproduction, metabolism, development, diseases, chemical properties and evolutionary relationships between different groups of plants, alga and fungi are its field of study. Botany began with efforts to identify edible, medicinal and poisonous plants, making botany one of the oldest sciences.

Amero nitabiųas bai ongaidảrol ảbma Amerảrbi. Heli, demon, taspąulus, tatiskỉtkai, tsingius, iatori, etsibi otomỉlaroin hǫ ỉlmảlion eidikųamiba ỉlmảnke siǫ bảug amero, hỉtseronde hǫ kỉutkonde ảbma rekna niatibis. Itkalula ảrhẻbmi amero harrhitadni, ůtsarrhiųoka hǫ tỏldaųoka taḥetsa amerảrbi, tsadi ảrỏl-ka omitsotkes amerảrbi.

Interesting words:

tatiskỉtkai - metabolism [tatis·k·ỉtka·i] from tatis- (matter) and -ỉtka (melting)
iatori - disease(s) [iat·or·i][ nominal form (lit. infection, diseasing) ỏrdo (to infect, make disease, lit. from ỏr- meaning ghost)
otomỉlaroin - chemical [o·tomỉl·aro·in] from tomỉl- (of particles) and -aroin (scientific) (from the form tỏbmio meaning particle, which is derived from totemo meaning head or unit)
iateidikųami - evolution [iat·eid·ikųa·mi] from iat- (nominal prefix), -eid- (forward), -ikųa- (to develop) and -mi (nominal suffix) (ikųani - to develop from ingi- with the suffix -ųa (a slow change) (ingi-ųa becomes igg-ųa, then ikųa))
ůtsarrhiųos - medicinal [ů·ts·arrhi·ųos] from ůtsa- (to cure, ultimately from el-tsa, make alive), arrhi (which is able to) and -ųos (-ing), lit. which is able to cure
tỏldaųos - poisonous [tỏl·da·ųos] from tỏl- (from toi, poison, itself from tohi- meaning green), -da- which means 'to make' (causative) and -ųos (-ing), lit. which poisons

11 months and one year

2009-10-04T23:34:00.004Z

Today I have been with Jóna for 11 months, and tomorrow we will have met a year ago ! That is to say, one month and one day later we were together.

Today was a great day. We went into Heiðmörk (a forest) on the side of Hafnarfjörður. I was hunting Amanita Muscaria, which I have found and brought home. I am now drying the mushroom in hopes of being able to keep it in my collection of things from nature that I have up by my windows. It's the most beautiful mushroom !

In the forest we took really nice pictures. I'm very happy with the outcome. It was really cold, but no wind and very dry, so that it was all very tolerable but still very cold. We walked in the forest, I took pictures of mushrooms, it was perfect. I always feel so so good when I can walk in a forest. And the forests here are so much shorter and the roof of the trees is much lower, so it always feels like I'm in a little tunnel, a small, magical place just for me and birds.

I burnt a piece of sulfur I had from last year. The yellow crystals melt into a deep orange liquid and the flames are of a really beautiful blue. Unfortunately it produces sulfur dioxide - it smells really special (I like it) but it is very harsh on the mucosa.

The fields, they are tender with fungus and ripening mold.

2009-10-01T21:18:00.002Z

Finally, money. I'm still not used to getting money only once a month. I like it, but I'm not used to it. Celebration required sushi, and sushi required a 45 minute wait. We went up to Eymundsson on Skólavörðustígur, where my bank used to be before it suddenly closed. I saw a gigantic book about the Icelandic flora. Who would have guessed that I would become so very interested in plants. We looked at it and I learned what Juniper is - Einir. I can't really guess its etymology, but I'd love to call my son Einir, one day. Not only because it's a beautiful tree, but because its "berry" is a cone, and because Finland is the "Juniper Nation" (because the wood is robust and bends, without breaking - taipuu muttei taitu).

This week has been a good week. I've made myself take my studies more seriously. The reasons for that still remain unknown, though.

I want to go pick crowberries and make juice. I got three bottles of crowberry juice from Jóna's grandma (amma Rósa), and it's delicious. Two liters of berries yield about 1L of juice! Because they are very rich in water and not too acidic, it makes for a delicious, slightly bitter drink that is much lighter than orange juice. More like apple juice.

Otherwise, Esja is getting white.
Today I had a conversation in the kitchen with a girl who was telling the others that her teacher had claimed that west germanic languages had gotten their attached definite article (hundur·inn ~ the dog) from Saami. It is indeed a very ridiculous claim seeing as Saami and pretty much all of the finno-ugric languages I know of completely lack any definite article (the). Then we started speaking and of course I had to go through the 'how many languages do you speak' conversation which I've started to dislike very much because I honestly don't know what to say.
I speak 4 languages, but I understand more or less 4 or 5 others. So do I know 8-9 languages? It sounds very unbelievable, and I'm reluctant myself.

I know:
French
English
Icelandic
Finnish (not as well as Icelandic)
Which is enough, but then the rest...Spanish, German, Irish, Modern and Ancient Greek, Sámi, Portuguese, Danish, (Br) Portuguese.
I guess it's not so much about knowing these languages but knowing about them. I'm not so social as to want to know all of these languages to speak them. For instance I'm pretty sure I could afford to say I know quite a lot about Georgian even though I can't even read the alphabet or say much anything at all. Same goes for Estonian - I understand a good deal of Estonian, but I know more about it than I know of it.

Now I just bored myself.

Lestörn

2009-09-30T21:12:00.004Z

Ég er búinn að lesa svo marga stafi undanfarna tvo sólarhringi að ég hef tekið meiri framförum á þeim tíma en síðastliðna tvo mánuði. Það er gott að geta lesið mikið og hratt.
Og þá langar mig oft til að skrifa sjálfur, notfæra mér þessi nýju orð og byggingar. Það er óhemju mikill munur á því hversu mörg orð ég kann og hversu mörg ég nota. Stundum virðist sem ég læti gott heita að nota sem fæst orð og mér gefst færi á. En svo þegar ég legg mig fram við að nota skrautlega og fágaða íslensku dettur mér ekkert merkilegt í hug að segja. Mig brestur efni í orð. Lausnin er þá auðvitað að lýsa hugmyndasneyðinum.

Þessa viku hef ég verið að reyna af mikilli elju að losa mig við einhvers konar djúpgróna vanrækslu, hirðuleysi sem ég hef leyft mér að baða mig í aðeins of lengi. Of mikill svefn mýkti mig, svæfði mig, þægilegt afköstuleysi. Hætti að mæta í tíma (stefni þó varla að bæta á mig mætingum) og fölnaði.
Ég byrjaði að fara í ræktina, ná aftur tökum á líkama mínum. Ég hef einsett mér að sóa minni tíma í óþörfum netsins og finna aftur orku til að sinna áhugamálum mínum eins og ber.
Ég vildi geta búist við að þessi metnaður entist, en ekki er ég svo óreyndur sjálfum mér að ég héldi að ég kynni að umbreyta eðli mínu svo auðveldlega.
Samt hefur mér tekist það stórfenglega afrek að breyta hegðun minni að frekar eftirtektarverðu leyti. Eins og Aileen Wuornos sagði (eða var það kannski bara í myndinni), þá get ég tamið mér allt sem ég tek að mér, ef nægur vilji er til staðar.
En breyta sér eins og að reyna að vaxa úr húð sér. Það er bæði ómögulegt og tímafrekt. Ég vil þó vera áfram í þessum hami, hann hentar mér vel. Ég vil bara hafa meiru að ráða.
Enginn afþakkar metnað til sjálfsbetrumbætingar (nýtt orð?).

Voimakastahtoisuus vasten yrmeyttä.
En ehdi lukea läheskään tarpeeksi.

Last day as a 20 year old.

2009-09-22T21:54:00.003Z

Being 20 has always been to me a very serious thing. Maybe it is because of a french song I used to hear, or maybe because it is such a round number, but being 20 was to me about enjoying life, drugs, sex, music, being young, being wild, being bewildered.
And now it's over.
When I was 20 I:

Lived in Iceland
Had my first girlfriend
Lived in Montréal and had an amazing summer
Learnt about plants, animals and trees
And much more.

It's also the year when I saw my family the least. Around Christmas for 8 days, and too few times during the summer.

I'm satisfied with my year as a 20 year old. I just wish it didn't have to end tomorrow.

Today my father began his 60th year! He's turned/is turning 59 today, and Heather turned/is turning 23.

Ég var að lesa inngangskafla í Draumalandinu eftir Andra Snæ um tengsl fólks við raunveruleikann. Eitt dæmi sem hann nefnir um störf sem gegna ekki neinu reunverulegu er ljósmyndari. Ég fór að hugsa og það er kannski mín helsta þrá að tengjast betur náttúru, raunveruleikanum. Þess vegna líður mér léttar þegar ég ét handfylli af krækiberjum sem ég tíndi sjálfur. Þess vegna vil ég borða hráan fisk beint úr roðinu, eins og björninn. Dýrin, þau lifa einföldu lífi, þau vilja ekki þróast, þau finna ekki fyrir andlegri eirðarleysi, þau finna ekki fyrir skömm. En hverju gegni ég sem ljósmyndari, öðru en sjálfum mér? Ljósmyndun er veiði, og kannski að þessu leyti get ég sætt mig við gagnsleysi hennar, því veiði er eitt gundvallarhlutverka spendýra, og ég er stoltur spendýr.
En hvernig get ég tengst raunveruleikanum betur, hvernig nálgast maður eitthvað sem er næstum engin þörf á. Þessi leit að raunveruleikanum er að miklu leyti skömmknúin.
Ég vil vera nær náttúru, en ég þarfnast þess ekki. Við þurfum ekki lengur á raunveruleik að halda.

Ég vil éta ber og hreindýramosa, veiða fisk, geta nefnt allar jurtirnar í kringum mig.

The magic length of god

2009-09-20T22:19:00.005Z

THIS I MEAN TO WHISPER TO MY MIND

Jóna and I went to Seljalandsfoss, about 125km south of Reykjavík, it's the first waterfall you really see when *driving south out of Reykjavík. After it, the landscape changed, it resembles the landscape around Vík í Mýrdal, which is definitively my favorite landscape type in Iceland (because it is wet, and is even sometimes snowless in the winter, and it's full of beaches, long black wide beaches).

Tonight I was supposed to study. Instead I did this. Tomorrow I will try and go to class. I never go to class - it's all recorded anyways, so I can wake up late and still "go" to class, in my bed.

Now. Study, NOW! NOW !!!

I hate literature theory. HATE IT!

Dregur dám af gráma.

2009-09-16T12:18:00.002Z

Ég er ekki óvinurinn í himninum

Drýldnir hrafnar kroppa úr dreyrugu innvolsi nokkurra vel sandeltra beina. Mergurinn eins og þurrt kar hríslast inn um kok þeim. Þung sigurkrunk heyrast, og þeir taka til lofts, kusk lyftist af jörðu og hrafnarnir renna saman við svartan úðann.

Moonshot

2009-09-14T22:30:00.001Z

off into outer space you go my friends
we wish you bon voyage
and when you get there we will welcome you again
and still youll wonder at it all
see all the wonders that you leave behind
the wonders humble people own
I know a boy from a tribe so primitive
he can call me up without no telephone
see all the wonders that you leave behind
enshrined in some great hourglass
the noble tongues, the noble languages
entombed in some great english class
off into outer space you go my friends
we wish you bon voyage
and when you get there we will welcome you again
and still youll wonder at it all

Underlying

2009-09-14T16:25:00.001Z

1. Gamitisa bata konumi ųaromidla, ỷdne ųimutodla omeųi.
IPA: [ˈˈgamitisa bata ˈkonumi ˈwaromitɬa, ˈyʔne ˈwimutotɬa oˈmewi]
lit.: concept other of-animal wiser, could-be more-mystical we-need.
trans.: We need another and a wiser and perhaps a more mystical concept of animals.
underlying: gamitis.a ba.ta k.onu.mi ų.aro.mi.dla, ỷdn.e ų.imu.to.dla om.eųi
underlying: concept-NOM other-INA.SING animal-GEN INA.ADJ-wise-ADJ.-COMPAR., could.be INA.ADJ-mystical-ADJ.-COMPAR. we-ANIM.UNAGENT-need

2. Marỏlherǫ syntesembol-ta, ademia-ha omiatod o ủ ảtsemo ioba ỉmho oringiųiot
IPA: [mɑˈrulheru ˈsʏnteˌsɛmbɔltɑ, ˈaɟemjaɑ ɔˈmiatɔd o uː ˈætsemu ˈjobɑ ˈimhu ɔrˈiŋːiwiɔt ]
lit.: we-patriotize-them incompleteness-their, fate-their tragic from so far us below having-taken form
trans.: We patronize them for their incompleteness, for their tragic fate of having taken form so far below ourselves.
underlying: ma.rỏlhe.rǫ synte.sem.bo.l-ta ade.mia-ha o.mia.to.d o ủ ảtse.mo ioba ỉmho or.ingi.ųi.ot
underlying: we-AGENT.ANIM-patrionize.them-UNAGENT.ANIM-INDRECT.OBJECT complete.in.ness-GEN.INAM - POSS., fate-GEN.INA - POSS INA-tragic-ADJ-GEN from so far-ADVERBIAL us-GEN below they-UNAGENT.ANIM-take form-INFERENCIAL-REFL-PARTICIPLE

3. Nimǫ omẻutso, kįo koamo omẻutso.
IPA: [ˈnimu ɔmˈøtso, cjɔ ˈkɒamu ɔmˈøtso]
lit.: So-and we-err, but greatly we-err
trans.: And therein we err, and greatly err.
underlying: nim.ǫ om.ẻutso, kįo koa.mo om.ẻutso
underlying: so-and we-ANIM.UNAGEN-err, but great-ADVERB we-ANIM.UNAGEN-err

4. Taro tsę akủtsaųiran riksi.
IPA: [taro tsæ ɑˈkutsawiran ˈɹ̝ɪksi ]
lit.: because that-not he-would measure-them human
trans.: For the animal shall not be measured by man (For they shall not be measured by man)
underlying: taro t.sę a.kủtsa.ųi.ra.n rik.si
underlying: because that-not he-ANIM.AGENT-measure-OPTA-them-ANIM.UNAGENT-PUNCTUAL human/man-NOM

5 1/2. Ỏnkiųi dlotelo syntetatselo, iỏrta syntedniųa odonta, aterǫn ingabatautelo, setka mąusatoųas
IPA: [ˈˈunciwi ˈtɬotelo ˈsʏnteˌtɑtselo, juːɽta ˈsʏntɛʔniwɑ ɔɾˈɔnta, ˈaterun ˈiŋːabɑˈtaɑtelo, setkɑ moʊˈsatowas ]
lit.: in-a-world older more made/complete, completed-as they-live, they-are-given sense-addition, which we-have-lost
trans.: In a world older and more complete than ours, they move finished and complete, gifted with extensions of the senses we have lost
underlying: ỏn.ki.ųi dlo.telo synte.tat.selo, ỉorta synte.dni.ųa od.onta, ate.rǫ.n inga.ba-tautel.o, s.et.ka mąu.sato.ųa.s
underlying: world-INA.LOCAT-inside old-COMPAR-GEN make-PAST.PART.INA-COMPAR-GEN, to-the-end made-PAST.PART.INA.-as they-ANIM.UNAGENT-live, give-they-ANIM.INDIRECT OBJECT-PUNCTUAL sensory-addition-INAM-GEN, which-INAM.PL.DAT we-ANIM.UNAGENT-lose-REFERENCIAL PRONOUN-STATIVE

5 2/2. nả sįokna mąusỉbman, onoataska ongara, setko sįokna mąuseųas.
IPA: [næ ʃɔʔkna moʊˈsiʔpman, ɔnˈɑatɑskɑ ˈuŋːarɑ, setko ʃɔʔkna moʊˈsewas]
lit.: or never we-reach-have, voices-through live-they, which never we-hear-have
trans.: or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear.
underlying: nả sỉokna mąu.sỉbma.n, on.oa.tas.ka onga.ra, s.et.ko sỉokna mąu.se.ųa.s
underlying: or never we-ANIM.UNEGENT-reach-STATIVE, GEN-voice-ANIM.GEN-INSTRUM live.they-ANIM.UNAGENT, which-ANIM.PL never we-ANIM.UNAGENT-hear-REFERENCIAL PRONOUN-PUNCTUAL

6. Hỏttason, ỉmhorąuson, ETSONDRI BAKO.
IPA: [ˈhuʔtːasɔn, ˈimhuˌroʊson, ˈetsɔndri ˈbakɑ]
lit.: brothers-not, underling-not, nations others
trans.: They are not brethren. They are not underlings. They are other nations.
underlying: hỏtta.son, ỉmho.ro.u.son, et.s.ondri ba.ko
underlying: brothers-PL.COPUL-NEG under.ling-PL.COPUL-NED, nation-PL.ANIM other-PL.ANIM

ANM - animate
INA - inanimate
AGENT - agentive
UNAGENT - unagentive
GEN - genitive
NOM - nominative
DAT - dative
PL - plural
COPUL - copula
NEG - negative
COMPAR - comparative
PAST.PART - past participle
OPTA - optative
REFL - reflective

THEY ARE OTHER NATIONS in Siwa

2009-09-14T00:17:00.006Z

Gamitisa bata konumi ųaromidla, ỷdne ųimutodla omeųi. Marỏlherǫ syntesembol-ta, ademia-ha omiatod o ủ ảtsemo ioba ỉmho oringiųiot. Nimǫ omẻutso, kįo koamo omẻutso. Taro tsę akủtsaųiran riksi. Ỏnkiųi dlotelo syntetatselo, iỏrta syntedniųa odonta, aterǫn ingabatautelo, setka mąusatoųas, nả sįokna mąusỉbman, onoataska ongara, setko sįokna mąuseųas.

Hỏttason, ỉmhorąuson, ETSONDRI BAKO.

+++++++

We need another and a wiser and perhaps a more mystical concept of animals.
We patronize them for their incompleteness, for their tragic fate of having taken form so far below ourselves. And therein we err, and greatly err. For the animal shall not be measured by man.

In a world older and more complete than ours, they move finished and complete, gifted with extensions of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear.

They are not brethren. They are not underlings. They are other nations.

An enemy in the skies

2009-09-13T21:20:00.003Z

Today I found my old icelandic mittens that Friðný's grandmother knitted. They had been hidden behind the heater here in my room for the whole summer. I'm lucky they were not taken by some tourist, because I really love them.
We went to the shopping center and I bought a beautiful green book and a head massaging thing.
Then we watched Earthlings and I will make a vegetarian out of myself. Who can eat meat after having seen that movie.
Then we went to the see and I saw a jelly fish and we did the groceries at the very expensive Melabúðin, and we made some really delicious pasta for about 3500kr.
Then we watched Coming to America, then we made push-ups.

Tomorrow I'm going to go to the gym, sign up and hopefully get in shape like I used to be. It's so good to control your body.

Yesterday I went up in Bláfjöll with Hrefna and it was amazing !!!

The moss was fluorescent. The drizzle was swift.

This kind of landscape reminds me why I have it tattooed on me.

I had been looking for a phrase to get tattooed. THEY ARE OTHER NATIONS is in consideration.

THEY ARE OTHER NATIONS

2009-09-13T17:04:00.001Z

I have seen Earthlings. I will not eat meat.

We patronize them for their incompleteness, for their tragic fate of having taken form so far below ourselves. And therein we err, and greatly err. For the animal shall not be measured by man.

In a world older and more complete than ours, they move finished and complete, gifted with extensions of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear.

They are not brethren. They are not underlings. They are other nations.

Mycology

2009-09-12T15:13:00.003Z

The sorrels hide under the grass, licked by the slugs. The ink caps melt over the dead wood, stain it and then disappear. They are walking between the stems, as high as sequoias, a forest of silent fungi. A drop of water falls and digs out a lake at their feet, the water is vibrating with the giants' almond shaped spores, the surface tension of the lake won't break. The slugs rush beside them like black trains, with their huge pneumostome gaping at the open air. The humidity rising from the dead wood makes everything heavier. The white stipes around them are growing, they can hear them. They make themselves a bed from fallen hyphae and hide in a hollow tendril.

Sifneska

2009-09-10T13:48:00.002Z

Arảultiųi, sỉbmaųone ktekisko ỏd ỉdlori-ha.
Isosko atakeųi sỉsủrka ųatanon, kįo keuka atarrhiva imuis metama-ha ta.
Arąultison, ỏdna sihe piveisin-ta.
Iteros ỉrta atakeųila ảdnuįo asireison hego?
Nảba tỷmheta okerkekiųi-ha?

Ỉdlori,
Mo kadmoųo sąumaherami?
Atsẻrtsaran Ęuropa,
Sảrkisin atsekagis sủ.

Orrhara hǫ eskidaka.

Suomi

2009-09-09T20:04:00.009Z

Autossa, menossa hakemaan hänen vanhemmat lentokentältä
Merestä kohosi suuria pilviä, mutta ne pienemmät jäivät äitinsä syliin.
Ulos autosta, nyt sataa poskilleni.
Haihtuuko vedestä suola, kun se kohoaa kohti taivasta?
Vai imeytyykö se ihoni huokosiin?

Jonkun muun vanhemmat.
Miten minun pitää tervehtiä heitä?
Eurooppa on kullannut heidät.
Pisamia kaukaisista maista.

Luen ja minua nukuttaa.

80 push-ups

2009-09-08T23:50:00.003Z

One of my favorite things to feel good (but often melancholy follows) is to talk to myself from when I was 14-16. Tell me: "Look Étienne, here you are in Iceland, you know all these streets that you haven't even thought of, you can speak Icelandic, you can speak Finnish, look at these pictures, you will be able to take them soon. You are in love." And then I wonder, what I would think of myself. And I know that I would be very proud.

Hello future.

Iceland is good.

EDIT: THAT WOULD BE 100 PUSH-UPS!

And the living flows downstream

2009-08-30T19:58:00.002Z

Bossanova in this room, with the sun still shining through the smoke coming from a cup of tee cooling on the window sill at 8pm. This is my home now.

Today I have decided to finish my degree in 2 years, meaning I will be coming back in Iceland for another year next year. One reason perhaps, because I feel at home here. I have always felt guilty about being here while my family fell apart. Now tensions should subside with a beginning in North-America for the people who made me. I hope they will feel happy. It should make my living here better. I do love Iceland, and I feel at home here.

Tonight is my first night alone since Jóna came to Montréal in July. I will keep the ghosts away, sleep in a circle of ginger, maybe put salt in my hair.

My days here are good. Today we went to Seltjarnarneslaug (a pool) and licked the sun. My freckling is coming along nicely. I went downtown for the first time on friday for a party for the Art University at Jacobsen (Jóna is starting her second year in graphic design). I picked redcurrant on the way to eat in the cold.

I am meeting the new people in the basement. I really miss Kael here.

Heather has moved out of Hutchison. We no longer share the same home.

I have Jóna and I have Iceland and I feel happy here. My life is just a little bit on the sunder part of life.

This semester's classes are:

tuesday 8:20-9:50 - Setningarfræði I (Syntax)
tuesday 10:00-11:30 - Samtímabókmenntir (Contemporary Literature)

wednesday 10:00-11:30 - Málnotkun III (Language Use III)

thursday 11:40-13:10 - Samtímabókmenntir (Contemporary Literature)

I am hoping to add one or two classes of Finnish to that.

So I have officially switched from Icelandic for Icelanders to Icelandic for Foreigners. I am still proud to have done one full year in Icelandic for Icelanders. I stopped because of all the literature. I guess I'd rather do something easy in school and have more time to do other things here. School isn't that important to me.

BERRY PICKER

2009-08-27T13:51:00.003Z

I am a berry picker, I am a fish eater. I carve your name in the bark and cook the phloem.
Before twilight I will dig out a bed and burn the coals until the moon rises with its crescent in the east.
You'll see, we'll make it through the taiga.

Day 3/4 - Úlfarsfell / Skeggjadalur

2009-08-25T21:29:00.004Z

I
Yesterday we were bored and we decided to go on the foot of Úlfarsfell which you can see very well from here. It's a little mountain that borders the entrance to mosfellsbær, the next village.

It was nice. It's so fun to be able to eat crowberries off the ground.

Jóna and Úlfarsfell in the background. And a rainbow!

Before that we also went to Grafarvogslaug, the pool here in Grafarvogur, about 10000x times better than any pool in Montréal. It was good to be in the warm water, it was sunny but very windy, only about 12 degrees outside. I immediately started getting my freckles back. But more sun is needed.

II

Today Jóna was at school until 3pm, and from the moment I woke up (11.30) til 3pm, it was my first time being really alone in one month exactly. It felt good, but her presence was welcome after that. Strange how we don't really ever get in each other's way. We just spent the last month 24/7 together except for when I was with Xavier for 2-3 hours and once when I went to move my stuff back home on 18th. And I still feel like we have a lot of things to tell eachother. When we are bored, it always turns out to be a lot of fun.

At around 5.30 we were bored (!) and decided to go somewhere, which ended up being Skeggjadalur (valley of the beards) near Nesjavellir (the fields of the peninsula). I had never been there. The way was flat until we got to mountains and then it really got impressive. Everything was green against black, and it was like on the moon. I freaking LOVE Iceland for that precise kind of landscape. Everything was halfway in the clouds, the air smelled like sulfur and there were sheep grazing in the valley. I found another large bone.

It was really amazing, and only like 30 minutes away from her house. I felt like I was 100000km away from everything. It was really breath taking.

This is Skeggjadalur as seen from the top of cliff. Full of crowberries there too!

Jóna atop the cliff

Against the valley

The righthand ridge

The sheep grazing down in the valley

It was really beautiful. I'm happy I've seen this.

Day 2 - Rauðhólar / Redhills

2009-08-23T19:33:00.004Z

We went to Heiðimörk, right outside of Reykjavík. We walked a little in the forest and ate wild blue- and crowberries. I found a big bone at Rauðhólar, which I think is from a horse.

I find myself to feel best and most connected to and excited about nature when I can eat raw food directly from it. I would really like to try some inner pine bark (niini).

I colored the bone purple with the flesh of the berries.

Day 1

2009-08-23T11:53:00.002Z

Yesterday was my first day of many to come here in Iceland. We got here at 5h30 am, took the shuttle to Reykjavík where Sverrir picked us up and drove us to Jóna's home where I will live until my room is available at Gamli garður (same room as last year). We slept until 4pm and had pizza which we had been waiting for for 2 days. We went downtown because it was Menningarnótt (culture-night, my first time seeing it). It was horribly cold and windy, cloudy and the air was/is incredibly fresh and pure. I had a long sleeve t-shirt, a cotton cardigan and my Icelandic lopapeysa on and mittens and I was still a little bit cold. It was about 8 degrees. I was very tired and I guess it took a toll on me because I was really not in the mood and felt really out of it (out from under/út undan) - Icelanders can be a little cold. Menningarnótt was more like Labbinótt - people just walking around, a big walking party. I saw three Icelandic celebrities, and Jóna bought me a hotdog and trópí.

Then we went home and I tried to watch a documentary about Debbie Does Dallas (which I didn't know about - I downloaded a bunch of documentaries) but fell asleep.

Now it's 12 and Jóna is sleeping besides me (perpendicular to me). The first days are always the weirdest. Especially when my sleep cycles are all over the place. I miss home(land).

Air trouble

2009-08-21T21:24:00.002Z

So.
Yesterday morning I woke up and had to say goodbye to both my homes, my friends and family. We took the plane to Toronto. There was a tornado and our flights were pushed back by 24h. I was overcharged 15 dollars by a confused waiter and he assured me he had canceled the transaction (which he didn't). We had to wait until 3.30 am (the bording was at 8pm) to get a hotel room over night payed by Icelandair. Westjet (which we took from Montreal to Toronto) told us we couldn't get our luggage because of the storm and we should leave Toronto without our stuff and that they would send it with Icelandair if they had time, or we would get it 2-3 days later. We told that to Icelandair and they informed us that they had no partnerships with Westjet for stuff like that. After 35 minutes on the phone with the Westjet helpline, I was told everything was going to be fine and that I shouldn't go back to terminal 3 (where our luggage was - you have to take a little train ride to get there and go through 3 stories, and none of the elevators worked, so it took about 1h to get there the first time) to get our luggage because it would be taken care of. We went back anyways only to find our luggage lying around. Had we not done that we wouldn't have gotten anything done.

Today we woke up in the hotel room, went back to the airport, waited 2h30 to get checked in, and now it's 5.30, I went back to the restaurant, got my money back (the 15$), and we just have to wait until 8 for the flight. Then we take a coach from Keflavík to Reykjavík and Jóna's mom Heiða will get us from the coach terminal in Reykjavík and drive us to Grafarvogur and THEN we will be home.

This has been hell. I hate airports. That 25$ airport tax ( x3 airports) really doesn't seem to serve much purpose. Or that 5$ security tax.

I do this with your son, every night.

2009-08-19T05:01:00.002Z

Tomorrow is Jóna's 21st birthday and my last full day in my homeland for a long long time. I am moving back to Iceland for another school year.

This week we have been going to the public pool which is something I had not done in many years, especially in Montréal. It's a lot of fun. Tonight I saw Tokyō Sonata with Tim, Guido, Jill and Jóna and then Jóna and I went to see a raccoon at the park with the willow and the lake. It was up in the tree, perhaps the same as the night before with Heather.

This summer has been a very good one. Much less difficult than the last one, different adventures. Leaving feels easier because the stay was temporary, but this time I am leaving this house for good, which is difficult. I will miss this room. Tonight is my last night in this room.

I nearly got my residence permit refused but with Sverrir's help everything was ókey-brókey.

Now it's just a questions of hours before I'm back at Grafarvogur eating pizza.

This summer was a summer of nature. I learnt the difference between trees, I saw new trees, new animals, I played with the squirrels and chased the racoons, I was licked by elks and I became part native.

I'm leaving objects that were part of my life, on and off. Now my life is moving on, and the shock wave won't be too long to reach my head and shake up the room, froth my liquids. My two humors.

That slow gripping feeling of ending summer. Worrying I won't remember how a heat wave feels in the darkest of winter, worrying I didn't remember everything well enough when it will be gone for ever. Worrying about how much I will miss this room. Who will I not see again? Will everyone survive the changes.

When will this ever be this way again? Never, and that is a big shape in my throat.

The plants collected throughout summer. Pine, spruce, the flower crown, the orange lamp, the wild wheat.

What matters is what we keep along the way. Like my father once told me, life is a series of encounters and all you have to do is make sure you take something out of them.

I wish I could have a space like in my dreams, where all my things are kept for ever. I can go back and play with my toys from when I was very young. I always wake up crying, it's always hidden behind a wall, it's always a huge discovery. A time capsule with my friends sitting in a circle, waiting for me to come back and miss them.

My perspective has changed once again. I feel wiser and more able to take on difficulties in life. In a way, I feel like this life has made me wiser than what I expect myself to be.

Alopanthropy is over. I will find a new word.

Love always,

North-American Child

Ensam i Berlin

2009-08-09T12:54:00.001Z

Við leggjum af stað eftir smá tíma, erum að fara í útilegu í Bandaríkjunum við sjóinn.

Goodbye.

Örgeðja

2009-08-06T01:23:00.003Z

Nýja uppáhaldsorðið mitt er hokinn. Það minnir mig á finnska orðið hoikka, sem ber sömu merkingu.

Við komum heim í gær úr fjögurra daga ferðalagi. Við fórum upp til Grynningaborgar þar sem við gistum tvær nætur hjá ömmu minni, aðeins annað skiptið sem ég sá hana sem ekkju. Hún átti frekar erfitt með að anda, en hún var óbreytt eins og alltaf. Svo var matarboð hjá bróður mömmu, en sonur hans var ekki til staðar enda búinn að flýja að heiman og orðinn sali. Daginn eftir keyrðum við upp í Karlsvegi (Charlevoix) þar sem við gistum á litlu móteli við á. Karlsvegir eru svo fallegir, vegurinn sem fer upp með ánni sem breiðist út eins og hafið, hvalir í víðu skilinu, og mikið um brekkur. Við fórum í litla vík sem ég hafði farið í fyrir nokkrum árum, Steinavík / Bergavík (Baie des rochers), en hún er orðinn uppáhaldsstaðurinn minn í þessu landi. Þar er lítil vík þakin sandi. Áin brotnar við rofna kletta, allt er úti í gróðri, mikið af förum og slektum (picea). Stór berg þakin mosa og fallegar rauðar brýr. Í víkinni er stór eyja sem klýfur sjónina.

Í víkinni.

Í ánni sem við sofnuðum við.

Á leiðinni heim skruppum við aðeins til ömmu og frænda. Ég vona að ég hafi ekki kvatt ömmu mína í alsíðasta skiptið, en henni batnar ekki.

Just saying it could even make it happen!

LANGT Í FRÁ / LANGT ÞVÍ FRÁ

2009-07-31T18:32:00.002Z

Jæja kæru/kæri íslenskumælandi lesendur/lesandi (les/andi),

Nú er liðin vika síðan Jóna steig á frjóa landið okkar. Við erum búin að gera margt skemmtilegt. Ég var ekki beinlínis búinn að gleyma neinu, en einhvern veginn var eins og að vakna úr dofnum draumi. Lyktir gegna miklu meira hlutverki en ég hefði búist við.

Á morgun stefnum við til Quebec borgarinnar, eða á íslensku, til Grynningaborgar (af orðinu kepék á Mik'maq sem þýðir "hér grynnir". Og nú erum við að pæla í að skella okkur í tívolíið fyrst það er svona kalt og ljótt úti.

Törski törski.

Hän tulee, hän saapuu!

2009-07-24T17:45:00.001Z

JÓNERALVEGAKOMA !

Illuminant

2009-07-24T06:44:00.001Z

Jóna is coming tomorrow. In less than 24 twenty four hours she will be here.

I am listening to a very sad song, talking with Kael. Iceland will not be the same without him.

My life is complicated - not on a day to day basis, but the overall organization of my life is complex and scattered. And my feelings fluctuate and my head is rarely where my feet stand.

Gah, so many confusing thoughts are going in circles in my head right now. So many good people to miss, so many memories to memorize.

Ég sakna föður míns en ég er ekki einu sinni farinn. Ég mun aldrei fyrirgefa mér það ef hann deyr á meðan ég er úti. Aldrei.

Mitä vittua olen tekemässä? Miten rohkenen lähteä niin kauas pois? Minkä vuoksi, mitä varten, minkä takia? Oman uteliaisuuteni vuoksi? Opintojani varten? Itsekeskeisyyteni takia?

En hirvene irrottautua kaikista, joita rakastan. Haluaan, että isäni näkee Islantia. Siitä lähtien kun olin 11 vuotta vanha, olen kertonut hänelle Islannista, kuvaillut sitä hänelle, ja haluaan saada hänet ylpeäksi, todistaa hänelle, että kyllä osaan Islantia, olen opiskellut sen, hänen antamansa kirjan avulla.

Mutta huomenna tukevaa rakkautta saan. Hänhän osaa lievittää surujani. En ole nähnyt häntä kahteen kuukauteen.

In my room

2009-07-23T02:46:00.000Z

I will miss my room a lot when I leave. It has the perfect proportions. It is like a cabin on a boat. Wooden floors.

In my room, I have:

My Icelandic flag

My father’s father’s little table, dark wood

My mother’s father’s writing machine

My mother’s father’s chest drawer (light wood)

My mother’s old green radio

My father’s Pentax Asahi camera

A piece of metal that went on the top of an old beautiful house my brother found in his first apartment, with green copper

An old maple leaf in the center

Our old Ikea yellow box with red wheels (for dirty clothes)

Three postcards (plants, clouds and antlers) from the guy who lived here while I was away

My books

A piece of wild wheat Tendrils and I found

Christmas lights going around the room

My mother’s old leather bag

The walls are gray, the floor is wooden, the two pieces of furniture are wooden, my room is blue and green, and the ceiling is white. It gives the room a green/red color which I like, it reminds me of cedar. Cedar room.

I have prepared everything for Jóna’s arrival. It feels like it’s already tomorrow, but there’s one day in between. How long can one day be?

Tonight I went and had supper with my mom in China Town. There was beautiful weather and we talked about our family. I tried to explain to her why I was excited about being perhaps part Ataronchronon.

Here are some things I am interested in at the moment:

Algonquian languages

Iroquoian languages

Georgian language(s)

Boats

I guess one of the perks of living alone (i.e. no girlfriend) is a lot of time to read up on things, which I have been doing a lot of.

I hope I can continue doing this because it’s really interesting. I wish I had kept that Georgian Grammar book. I should really learn it. I think I am attracted to cultures which have had a lot of time to blossom and become their own thing. It takes man a long time of isolation to truly develop a new, original and fascinating culture. This is why I love Sámis, Icelanders, Native Americans and all the other isolated peoples.

SUMMER HARBOR

2009-07-22T19:02:00.005Z

Summer harbor we'll never sail, short of sixty 60,000,000.00 dollars.

Longest walk 2009. Congratulations.

We walked up until we had no idea where we were (were we where). Exploring our own city, like it ought to be. Never seen before, never to be seen again. Yesterday was an excellent day. Getting lost with tendrils.

This is a good summer (harbor).

Only three days until Jóna comes. We will have been separated for 63 days. I remember the last time I saw her, and the first time I'll see her will also be at an airport. Airports are like segregated spaces for painful goodbyes in the urban design. You need to say goodbye to someone and you don't want to? We have a huge concrete city to make you forget. Come for the shopping, stay for the restaurants.

It will be quite a lot of fun to get to see her again. I'm excited, I dream about my mouth being like a hole needed to be filled with that of another.

I want to learn how to sing like the crees, with the human voice of the raven. Raddir hrafnanna leiða þig að korninu.

III

Mjög langt síðan ég hef skrifað á íslensku og fyrst hún Jóna er alveg að koma þá sýnist mér það vera við hæfi að æfa mig aðeins. Mér finnst núna eins og ég hafi algerlega yfirgefið áhuga minn á íslensku í skiptum fyrir endurvakta og ófullnægða ástríðu fyrir land viðar og keldu og fora. Íslenska hefur þó aldrei misst þetta ólýsanlega sem heillar mig svo. Eitthvað upprunalegt, fyrstu landsbyggðarmenn nýrrar eyju, fyrstu menn að hafa stigið á vott landið. En einhvern veginn hefur íslenska tekið upp nýtt hlutverk fyrir mér - hún er orðin eins konar gagnsmál, tungumál sem er meira gagn er gaman af. Ég þarfnast íslensku til að geta verið þar sem ég vil, geta kynnst því fólki sem ég teygi mér eftir. Skóli hefur ekki hjálpað örlögum hennar, því allt sem ég hef lært í skólasamhengi hef ég orðinn mjög leiður á.

En maður lærir eitthvað nýtt á hverjum degi og það knýr mig áfram. Forvitni og gagn.

Nú verður maður að drífa sig í að þrífa í herberginu sínu. Kærastan að koma, og það er lítið sem ekkert rými á þessum bát.

Love always,

Gleoh.

Today, A Squirrel

2009-07-21T21:55:00.002Z

Today I befriended a squirrel. I was quietly sitting outside on the balcony when I noticed a squirrel staring at me and purring loudly from an branch extending towards me. Thinking it was angry, I threw some pieces of charcole at him so that he would be busy looking for it. It stared at me for long minutes, came closer and seemed to be playful – it hid behind a branch and would peek out from each side, like the racoon cubs from the other day. I went into the kitchen to get some pine nuts and placed them along the cracks of our rotten wood fence (balustrade). The squirrel came and was within a few inches of my hands. It ate the pine nuts and it was fun to be playing with another animal. I love how playful they are.

Then a fly came and tasted the nuts and I took a picture with the reversed lens technique to achieve bad macrophotography:

4 hours

2009-07-21T06:27:00.002Z

Sủ-ne, asigatetsǫ, upihes sildamiba, ųilvaųusa. auiongųo-ha upiųitsaias pivi.

Tỉu-ne ỏtkęri, sęm ųingas seta ohi, ẻrskąura. tataro simigatodon iatanari - ỏirra ksęriųi utiodat herenis ỏd kernoka.

Sỉu-ne anohi, sỉokna nųikaųasaiǫ, iruųo. Tarrhidasas obena, kįo askonỏd-na tatiodas oggalara hasibmigųo, ảbmu-ha tỏstas, ủtkeųi-ha tsẻmkas.

[ˈsuːne ɑˌsiɣˈatetsu uˈpiʔhɛs ˈsɪldamibɑ ˈwilvawusɑ. ɑʊjɔŋːwɔɒ uˈpiwɪtsajɑs ˈpiʋi.]

[cjune ˈutkæri sæm ˈwiŋːɑs seta oʔɕi, ˈerskoɤra. taˈtaro ˈsimiɣatɔɾɔn jɑtˈanari - ˈuɨr̝ɑ ˈksæriwi uˈcjodɑt ˈherɛnɪs ud ˈkɛrnokɑ]

[sjune aˈnoʔɕi ʃʲɔʔgnɑ ˈnwikawasajo, ˈirwo. tˈaʃidasɑs ˈobenɑ cʲɔ ˈɑskonoʔdnɑ taˈcjodɑs ˈɔgːalarɒ ˈhasɪʔpmiɡwɔ æʔbmʊɑ ˈtustɑs, ˈutkewiɑ ˈtsemkɑs]

Indian Cowboy

2009-07-20T22:44:00.005Z

I've been listening to Buffy Sainte-Marie. She's strangely good. She's rekindled my interest for Algonquian languages. I can hear old women singing in her voice.

Yesterday Heather and I watched Monster with Charlize Therone, the movie about Aileen Wuornos. I had not cried so long and so much because of a movie since I saw Lost In Translation for the first time. It left me so confused (I was high...). I understand her fully for having murdered the people she murdered. It was wrong, but in no way should she have been executed. She obviously made mistakes and had a poor judgement as to what to do in such a situation, but who's never really fucked up? Rapists get away with more than just rape on a daily basis.
The phone scene at the end is so rough to look at, it was really difficult to not just stop watching.

Man did that movie ever hit hard. It was really harsh. I recommend to anyone who hasn't seen it to watch it as soon as possible. It should change your mind on death penalty and killing. And raping. And mistreating women, and prostitution, and what it means to defend ourselves.

It's strange how so much energy is put in our society at getting back at the people who have murdered humans. Other animals kill each other without much remorse. Every animal that's ever lived has died, and a huge number was probably killed. Our anger is endless.

Buffy and Aileen mix well together, some kind of simple 70's-80's athmosphere.

He's an indian cowboy in a rodeo.

Oh how I wish I was an indian. I will make myself become one.

You'll see me, eating berries.

+

Did you know the tree?

2009-07-19T03:18:00.003Z

Did you know the tree
Did you know the tree, my boy?

Can you feel it growing?
Can you feel it sapping?

Did you know the tree?
Take a look at its cone.

It will open up to you, if you wait
It will open up to you, if it summers

Did you know the tree?
Take a look at its bark.

Its surface like that of an old man's
Wrinkled skin.

Did you know the tree?

2009-07-19T03:17:00.002Z

ohi satsẻria
ohi satsẻria ẻrro-ha

satyheia elnoda
satyheia ỉdnerinda

ohi satsẻria
sasimoia ủrhuit-sa

iatảtteiasǫ sadotai
iatảtteiasǫ kteirie

ohi satsẻria
sasimoųi kerko-ha

kỉdlemaista-mi asigon
kidlu ůrvito-mi kerho-ha

Hello

2009-07-17T01:46:00.003Z

Hello, walking home to the home of friends, walking home to the friends at home.

At least I know we really are friends.

Sometimes I am afraid of looking at my film pictures. Everything looks like it was many, many years ago - only to remind me that soon all of this will have been many, many years ago. I don't know what my face will look like then, but will I still feel nothing like what I look like? Will I be still such a furry mammal inside?

I wonder about the future just as much as I wonder at the past. I already feel the sinews of my chest pulling tight, thinking of all the things I will miss, all the people I will not see for a long time. All the lives that will drift into the necessary haze of distance.

My parents are divorcing now, it is painful to see how it happens. Like old wolves snapping their old age-bitten teeth into each other's necks. I am tired of the hate and I am tired of the 1000 times repeated tactics of tempting to battle.

When I leave in a month and 4 days, when I go back to the home that I chose, that uncertain lair - how much will things change? Will I come back to two houses, neither my home? I will be in this country just as much a foreigner as in the next one. Will everyone be alive?

Time never changes - áfram áfram áfram.
Aika ei koskaan muutu - eteenpäin eteenpäin eteenpäin

I'll miss all the imagination. I'll miss all my people.

I can't stop to quit my job.

Janitor level up.

Is somebody who rules the world.

2009-07-15T17:19:00.006Z

I

He kind of started all the plants growing, he started people. Well I guess he's kind of big and fat.
And he can still see us when we're bad.
If he was a bad man, he would make everything bad, he wouldn't [make] electricity, he wouldn't make people.
A lot of people think he's just a feeling, but I think he's a real person.

II

Summer days in North America.
I wake up late. My room has two doors facing each other, on one side the apartment and on the other side, the one which I wake up to, outside. The trees and the sun wake me up late. It has been raining a lot - and waking up to thunder at 1pm is a tremendous feeling.
We have Cardy with us now, who took Guido's place. Guido moved out to somewhere close by. I still have my room.

Before yesterday, Heather and I went out to the train tracks and lit a fire from dead plants. It felt good to make fire. We went back after nightfall with Cardy and lit an even bigger one.

Gathering women in the field, a watchful man breathing into the fire.

It felt like 7000 thousand (!) years ago. High, staring into the fire. I finally found myself a satisfying explanation for the texture of fire = it is a gas moving very rapidly and gaining light. It is a gas, that's its texture.

I feel very calm, very good, when I do timeless things, when I get closer to the ways of the past - making a fire, eating edible plants for food, breaking the glumes (akana) from an ear (tähkä) of wild wheat (vehnä). Imagining the awns (vihne) beginning their journey in the rough fur of a bear.

Maybe I am one of these men, who leave everything one day and disappear into the wild. Live like an animal - when summer comes, wander naked on the pine needle bed just like every other animal. Cutting the boundaries between human and animal. Maybe I'll do that, when the time is right. I know I want to. I know I could detract.

Today Heather and I are going on an adventure. We'll walk to the photostore and get our films developed. Find alleys and take pictures of them.

III

Yesterday I went for the first time with my brother to his old friend's place. I remember they would play video games downstairs at home before anyone had decided to move out.

IV

I remember all the images I had made up of Reykjavík when I was at the most intense of my Icelandic learning, and strangely enough none actually resembled any of the real Reykjavík but one, the chairs outside of Sólon on a sunny summer day. So when ever I walk by the chairs I get this very clear feeling of accomplishment and happiness because I am exactly where I wanted to be a few years back, and it still counts. Also I very often miss Erla when I walk by there. KATE BUSH.

V

Only a few days before Jóna.

VI

My dream job, my ultimate accomplishment = becoming a park ranger in Finland.

.

Tänään.

2009-07-14T02:24:00.005Z

Eilen oli iljettävä työpäivä. Pohjakerrokseen tulvi jätevettä ja pilaantunutta öljyä ylös laskuputkista. Koko kerros haisi kuolleelle hevoselle, ja oli vaan yhdet sadesaappaat, minun jaloissa. Eilen oli siivouspäivä, ja puuhassa oli vain yksi toinen työntekijä vieressäni.
Pohjakerroksen siivoaminen kesti meiltä koko päivän työvuoromme. Koko päivä me luututtiin ja siivottiin ja kuivattiin ja mopattiin. Oli helvetti enkä käynyt tänään töissä - ja siispä heräsin myöhään voimakkaan ukkoseen - salaman välähdyksiä tuskin näkyi.
Päivän sää on ollut oikein ennustamatonta, raidallista, ikään kuin pilvet ja kirkas taivas kulkivat syljittäin - me ei ehditty panna kenkiä jalkaan sään muuttumatta äärimmäisesti. Mutta me ehdittiin kyllä päästä ulos, ja me jouduttiin rautateiden autiomaahan, jossa me vihdoinkin otettiin hyviä kuvia. Sitten me sytytettiin pikkukokko pienistä varvuista. Koska oli aivan tuulekasta, kokko ryömi eteen käyristyen luoteistuulen mukaan. Se jätti yhden metrin reitin. Autiomaassa on rautateitä ja useita roskaryökkiöitä. Pilvet vierivät saarta kohta ja alkoi vielä uudestaan sataa, ja ujo sateenkaari tuli näkyviin.

Oli suuri huojennus ottaa vihdoinkin kuvia uudestaan. Pitkästä aikaa sitten.

More than this

2009-07-11T12:35:00.002Z

I just wanted to make it very clear that LOST IN TRANSLATION combined with MY BLOODY VALENTINE pretty much leave no place for any other thing in life.

I could only watch that movie for the rest of my life and I'd still be amazed by it every single time.

Oppimattomat sanat

2009-07-10T17:20:00.004Z

En aivan tiedä, miksi suomen oppiminen kestää minulta niin kauan. Itse kieli ei ole kovin monimutkainen, eikä epäsäännöllinen. Mutta sanat tuntuvat silti lipsuvan aivojeni pinnalta heti kun ne on sille pantu. Tiedän kyllä hyvin paljon sanoja, mutta jollakin tavalla suurin ongelmani ei ole sanojen muistaminen, vaan miten niitä käytetään suomalaisemmalla tavalla. Tai siis toisin sanoen, en useinkaan tiedä, miten suomalainen sanoisi sen, mitä minä yritän sanoa. Ja tämän seuraus on tietysti se, että joudun useammin kuin haluaisin keskustelemaan tästä ongelmastani.

Miksen kertoisi sen sijaan päivistäni. Minun pitäisi alkaa kertoa niistä enemmän.

Töissä minun on mopattava ja luudittava. Myös minun täytyy panna tavaroita hyllyille ja järjestää ne kuntoon. Autankin joskus lihakauppiaita, kun asiakkaita on liian paljon tai me ollaan saattu suuri vasikansääri. Mun pomo on oikein paskamainen. Sillä on maailman lyhyimmät kyynärvarret.

Voi nyt aika rientää ja mun pitää yrittää installoida Leopard ennen kuin lähden töihin. Joskus siellä rupean puhumaan suomea ihan huvikseen (kaikki muut puhuvat keskenään italiaa). On aina niin hauskaa kun saan puhua suomea - sain taannoin hyvän mahdollisuuden puhua sitä Espoolaisen kanssa - ja se meni hyvin, luulen.
En ymmärtänyt joka sorkkaa sanaa, mutta suurimmaksi osaksi tajusin ja pystyin seuraamaan keskustelua aivan pulmattomasti.

Mun pitää vaan huomioida enemmän sitä, miten asiat sanotaan, ja turvautua vähemmän sanakirjoihin ja semmoiseen "apuun".

Honey in your bed ©

2009-07-10T03:47:00.003Z

Because I don't want to say the c******** word.

Today was Alixe's birthday. It's the second time I see her since I've come back. I was with her for about 30 minutes, saw Éliane and Antoine too. I hadn't seen them in a year. I feel so disconnected from my old friends. I feel like I'm drifting away from the people who used to form my only circle of friends. I guess time will do that to you.
It's an uncomfortable feeling when I am with them, because then I feel like nothing I can say or do will really relate to them, and vice versa. Kind of like relatives I haven't seen in too long. What unites us is something weak and impalpable. However, there are perks - I can say pretty much anything, and the worser things I say will be dismissed ("Oh that's just the way he is").

I've been listening to a lot of My Bloody Valentine, to my great satisfaction - probably because I had decent sound in my room now. Speaking of which - when I leave on August 20th, this house will fall appart. I am the only original inhabitant of the house left living here (originally there was Mikko, Brendon, Jacob and I), and in september Tim and Heather will leave the house as well.
So once I say goodbye to my first apartment, it will be for good, and for good.
It saddens me because I want to have acces to all my homes for ever. But this apartment objectively sucks. BUT it's filled with memories and good times. And it's in the best neighborhood.

I realize better now that I had a lot of impossible expectations for this summer. But Summer 903 is independent from any expectation. Up to now, it's been good.

Siwa questions. Translated from Finnish.

2009-07-08T22:03:00.007Z

Ỏirra sąudakan, mo ios dǫ esika orųikaila ỏtseḥe osąuraska tetỏd hiẻrosis sarrika amỉtson atiodon. Ragảbmia bako arikus ko? Kįo mo ỏtseḥe aigeta siasis ko? Miomomi rasidaisǫ eųira? Įa i osąuras roihetiska ę ảbmǫtis osąuraska-ga bảug? Miomomi tarrhiva sẻrkon etonus?

A string down the hillface.

2009-07-05T17:59:00.005Z

In my dream last night, I was a point of view, i.e. I wasn't myself or anything - I was hung from an invisible string and going down a steep mountain, slowly, looking down onto the trees, the rocks and the brooks. It was in Finland, that I know. I remember seeing the rocks and thinking 7000 * years. The hillface went downward. Then I came to the end of the mountain and the beginning of the ground. I stepped onto the soil and looked up to the mountain I had just seen from above, and I thought something about there being an other race (aliens?) living atop the mountain forest. Maybe it was in the far past.

Minua on aina lumonnut se, miten muinaiset tiiviit heimot suhtautuivat uusiin tuntemattomiin heimoihin kun ne kohtasivat ensimmäistä kertaa. Uskoivatko ihmiset toisten olevan ihmismäisiä? Entäs miten he suhtautuivat käsittämättömään kieleen? Kuinka kauan heidän kesti ymmärtää toisiaan? Oliko yhdessä heimossa tarinoita muista kohtaamisista toisten heimojen kanssa? Kuinka kauan heimon yhteinen muisto kestää? Jos toinen heimo on kehittyneempi, olivatko he sittenkin jumalia? Näinkö jumalat syntyivät?

Olisin halunnut olla siellä, kun suomalaiset törmäsivät ensimmäisiin eurooppalaisiinsa, tai Amerikan alkuasukkaat ensimmäisiin kaukaa tulleisiin matkustajiinsa. Keitä ovat vieraat?

En ole vieras omassa maassani.

Let us record every animal

2009-07-05T17:54:00.002Z

A NEW BEGINNING.

I have spent my time unwisely this summer. Today I will do better.
I had no sjálfsagi / selfdiscipline. Nearly every moment staring at a screen (which is okei as long as one does something af viti /of wit).

And with every change comes a vague of reorganization, realignment, recreation.
Who knows, perhaps my inanimate nouns will suffer changes too.

Estonian is more complex than I had suspected.

I MUST BEGIN THE DAY. I MUST BEGIN THE DAY.

BEGIN THE DAY TODAY !

För gamla tiders skull

2009-07-04T22:54:00.004Z

Nu när Tim har kommit tilbaka från Sverige får det här huset mig att tänka på min gamla vän därifrån. Det var väl i fjol som han försvann.
Håkan Hellström och alla orden som jag aldrig har hört.

I dag var en svår dag, och ändlös. Heather är i norr, Guido har flyttat, och jag sitter nu ensam. I dag har Jóna och jag varit tilsammans i åtta månader.

Det är lätt att känna sig ensam i det här vädret.

Synæsthesia

2009-07-03T18:27:00.002Z

I must be slightly synæsthesic because I realize a lot of the time I use color codes, textures or shapes to remember things. These mnemonic tricks are especially transparent when I am high - it often feels like the textures, colors, shapes (qualities, functions or actions) are more striking then than the actual thing I am thinking of.
Yesterday for example, I realized that when ever I try to think of a candle, any candle (i.e. not any one in particular), I seem to use a system of qualities, functions and actions.

Just as all matter can be broken down into simpler elements, it seems as though with me, any memory, any object, any semantic image can be broken into a set number of qualities, functions and actions. A candle for example, would seem to be:
qualities - tube
functions - illuminate
actions - melt

And of course, all of these basic properties have a weak synæsthesic character.

This means I can make up new things which do not exist, just like we have made up new materials from building blocks (plastic).

For instance I can get a "feeling" for what the following would be:
qualities - hairy, hard
functions - weight
actions - break

It does not exist, but with these simple qualities I can get a feeling for what it would be. The only thing left is to name it to make it more easily memorable .

Of course it's not that simple and clear cut. But I realize that this is how imagination works - I can imagine hard, hairy breaking solids and actually feel them in my mind.

And I'm not even high !

Castrati

2009-07-03T06:13:00.005Z

Dear Reader,

Tonight I'd like to share with you a very special piece of music. It is the only recording of a Castrato singing in 1902. Castrati were chosen to be castrated before their puberty - the aim of this was for them to keep their childlike voices to become a Castrato singer. Their voices were high pitched and very flexible. This recording is of Alessandro Moreschi, the last Castrato. He was 54 years old at the time.

Listen here.

This has reminded me that a few generation of people have seen their childhood governed by men born in the 17th century, and their old years in the bloom of electricity. They had medieval parents, and grandparents perhaps born in the 1500's. These people perhaps saw the most change in their lives out of the whole of humanity.

I find this pretty interesting.

Étienne Poisson, jeune polyglotte

2009-07-01T22:29:00.002Z

Today I was on tv. I was interviewed last week on the show Des kiwis et des hommes (Kiwis & Men). It went well, except for my forehead gleaming with sweat.

I wonder if it'll lead to anything. I should hope so.

Only 23 days until Jóna comes to visit.

My life at the Hutchison has been just like it should. Work, fun, friends, heat, and a lot of new vocabulary. Heather and I just keep on going.

I guess it's all uphill from here.

A culture in my head

2009-06-30T02:43:00.003Z

Here is a little bit of Alopian / Siwa.

o ksitąut sahen - since I have come (from my having come) it has been raining [o ˈksitɑut saʔhɛn]
iakedąut aha amůmo sema- after having given birth, the mother eats the placenta [jɑˈkedɑut ɑʔha ɑmˈœmɔ semɑ]
hảtkakanot tamo kảurrhi - Having cut myself, after having cut myself, I bled a lot[ˈhætkɒtɒnɔt ˈtamo ˈkɑuʃɪ]
ỉdva isẻrkanot sįokna basketse - Once one has well learnt, one never forgets
[ˈidva iˈserkanɔt ʃʲɔʕkna bɒsˈketse]

sihe - it rains [ˈsiʔhe]
omade - it snows [ˈomaɾe] / [ˈomaɟe]
hyste - it is windy [ˈhʏste]
ireste - there is good weather [ˈirɛste]
su - there is bad weather [ˈsu]
heriste - it is cold [ˈherɪste]
moari - it is hot [ˈmɒari]
ori - the pressure is low [ˈori]
kůri - the pressure is high [ˈkœri]
keųi - it goes uphill [ˈkewi]
iede - it goes down [ˈeɛde]
sateri - it is dimm [ˈsateri]
hąlari - it is bright [ˈhɑlari]
ei - it is day time [ˈeɪ]
ủs - it is night time [ˈus]
sủr - it is humid [ˈsur]
sỉr - it is dry [ˈsir]
huųo - it is foggy [ˈhuwo]

aterųaka siama ẻnka i aųaka ta sema-ha - Being sick, my mother has stayed home [ˈaterwakɑ 'siama ˈeŋka i ɑˈwakatɑ ˈsemaɑ]
aiảtkasǫ hǫ aksesǫ sibo sia i aųaka ta sema-ha - My mother stayed home to gut the fish and prepare dinner [ɑˈjætkasu hu ɑˈksesu sia i ɑˈwakata ˈsemaɑ]

atanųa sibo - The fish is big [ˈatanwɑ ˈsbo]
kseta hoi - The food is ready (is prepared) [ˈkseta ˈhoɪ]

atanųako sibo - The fish was big [ˈatanwakɔ ˈsbo]
ksetaton hoi - The food was ready (was prepared) [ksetatõ ˈhoɪ]

hảtsetaiǫs - I gave it to him [ˈhætseˌtajus]
odảtserasǫs - They gave them to you [ɔdˈætseˌrasus]
aiảtseiasǫs - He gave her to you [ɑˈjatseˌjasus]

iaḥekẻdlas tẻrhi - The sun appeared [jaʔeˈketɬas ˈterçi]
iakẻdlas tẻrhi - The sun will appear [jaˈketɬas ˈterçi]

sihe - it rains [ˈsiʔhe]
silomi de sihęus - to want it to rain [ˈsilomi tːˈsiʔheʊs]
odlo de sihęus - I want it to rain [oˈtɬo tːˈsiʔheʊs]
siheųe - it rains (I hear, apparently) [ˈsiʔhewe]
sihei - it would rain [ˈsiʔheɪ]

What you have done to me

2009-06-27T21:59:00.004Z

You will not be the only one.

You come back soon.

Breaking up the room.

And soon you be the forgotten one.

Only one, are you the forgotten one?

How can one not love My Bloody Valentine. Of all the music I listen to, MBV gives me the most satisfaction. It is so ensnaring. I really always see the music. It's the most visual music I know - synæsthesia is at its strongest when listening to all the layers. It's always a black background with glowing lights, deep purple, bright yellow, glowing red and flashing green. They form stripes, which come together and go apart with the rhythm. They fade and become sharper with the loudness of the high pitched sounds. Low sounds appear as the black engulfing the colors.

III

At the top of a rolling hill, hiding from the wind behind a single tree. The sun in the west shines golden against the purple clouds in the east, billowing into the valley with their obvious capes of windy rain. The long blades of grass bow down under the running winds' swollen bellies. Like invisible snakes dancing in the field, hovering above the grass. The pressure drops and the birds slow down onto the ground. No sound can be heard. The leaves don't turn in the wind, the grass is still, the birds as muted, the air thickens with humidity and the thunderstorm brakes.

We consume the future and emit the past

2009-06-24T03:26:00.003Z

The length of changing times is something of a mystery to me.

I had a supper with my father today. It was right next to where I live. It was the first time my father and brother and I hung out where I live. We had something to drink then something to eat then something to smoke. Played video games and watched a short. With an overwhelming undertone of change and saying goodbye to an old life.

What happens to a man when his home scatters asunder? I don't want to see the house of my childhood, the only true home I have be the host of a new generation of strangers. This house has 95% of all my memories until two years ago. Like that time I played Parasite Eve in the living room on Christmas after opening the package.

Like virtually all other memories. Within these walls.

What happens when I cannot ever go back to this place? Memories become less clear, fade, become entangled with dreams.? Then at an old age, my life is being forgotten so quickly it is reaching the near present? And I die without knowing who I am?

A silent father, a bitter mother.

A disappearing son.

Levoscoliosis

2009-06-22T21:03:00.003Z

So I am sure to have scoliosis. I'm not excited about getting a huge scar, if I need an operation. It's been so painful today I had to leave work.

Today was a really shitty day. First off, yesterday I called my father for fathers' day and I learnt that my parents are getting a divorce. It would have been the end of my world three years ago because I was still living with them, aboard that wobbly ship. But now I am somewhere else. It's not the end of my world but it's the end of something that's been going on for far too long. In a way I'm very happy for them. Change is good, however difficult it may be. I am worried of course about my father - having cancer and living alone doesn't sound like much fun.

It will be complicated I'm sure, painful and probably stretched over a fair amount of time. But in the end, it's for the best and we all know it.

I haven't seen Jóna in a very long time. Yesterday was a difficult night. The kind of night when:

It's already too late, and I must hurry to fall asleep.

I have to wake up early to do something I don't want to for someone who doesn't appreciate it (my boss).

I miss Jóna and I don't want to be alone in bed.

I feel sad.

My parents divorced.

The leftside of my hips is killing me.

So I watched the first episode of Freaks and Geeks and remembered how funny it is.

Yesterday I finally bought some food. Heather and I tried to go up on the mountain but I was so weak after having eaten a few chick peas that we turned around and I dragged myself to the foodstore which is about 1 minute away from the house. I've lost weight eating nothing (but pasta).

I haven't been calling my friends. I guess I really don't have much energy to see people right now. Working fulltime sucks it all out of me. When I come home I just want to do my thing and relax. I'd be glad to have them over, but that means calling, which means speaking on the phone.

I think I'm in love with Jóna's new hardcore picture. I wish I could take strange pictures like that too.

I think my photography is going through the same steps as my language creating. It goes through a lot of concentrated, saturated phases when I try one thing over and over again, apply strict rules. Like when I didn't allow any initial clusters or diphthongs. I guess right now I'm trying to do the summery thing, working with a lot of yellow and red. I really really like this picture. I'd love to take pictures like he does.

Speaking of conlanging. Yesterday I worked a little bit on my phonology and tried to clarify clusterification (my creation? Is there a greek equivalent?).

I came up with this:

§1.1.6 Clusterization

Clusterization is a fairly irregular process in Alopian by which a root gains an initial consonant cluster after the addition of a derivative suffix. It happens when the first syllable of a word is of the type CVC-V, i.e. a monophtongue is the nucleus of the syllable. The possible clusters appear in the chart below (§1.1.7) and are shown in italics with a hyphen. If a cluster cannot contract, then clusterization does not happen. It does not always take place when it could, which can make it slightly unpredictable. Certain initial clusters (those not shown in italics) may still appear but only once a vowel has been prefixed to the root, rending the cluster non-initial. Clusterization is not very productive anymore, but it is important to know that many roots still go through it.

Here are a few examples

tsokabmi - to break into pieces, to shatter; from tasǫ + the verbal suffix -da

tasoka·da·mi > tsokabmi

satevani - to become dimm, to dimm > tastevan it has gotten dark (ta·seta·va·n)

And also I redefined consonant weakening:

§1.1.3 Final consonant weakening

The fricatives /v/ /d/ /b/ and /g/ have a weak form in final position when they appear in a closed syllable:

Consonant weakening

consonant result example

-v- -ų- or -Ø- teve /teve/ ‘moment’ → tẻl /te:l/ ‘of a moment’

-b- -p- -ų- or -v- erubo /erubo/ ‘pollen’ → eruųod /eruwod/ ‘of pollen’

-d- -ų- or -į- nokodi /nokoɟi/ ‘mark’ → nokoįid /nokojid/ ‘of a mark’

-g- -ų or -į- augo /auʋo/ or /auɣo/ ‘hook’ → auųod /auwod/ ‘of a hook’

The weakening affects consonants in final syllables. Bisyllabic words only have a weakened consonant if it is surrounded by two rounded or identical vowels, but polysyllabic words always have consonant weakening. Usually ų is before a rounded vowel while į is used elsewhere.

So that's that. I've been feeling a bit down because of the awful pain in my hips, my parents are getting a divorce after 30+ years, Jóna's away (less than half the time left!) and work sucks.

Love stinks ! (No, but certain parts of it may smell).

EDIT:

My dad is now single on facebook. Zeitgeist?

Ad vitam æternam

2009-06-21T17:37:00.003Z

I must say I am surprised that accusative feminine -a nouns have the -am ending.

So somehow I keep dreaming about Clara Palardy and Xavier Dolan. It's been a while since I saw them. Clara's in the south, Xavier's in his things. He's changed a lot. I remember going to his place while he was away with Clara and smoking pot and talking on Clara's laps. Remembering what had happened in these woods.

I learnt one of the most fascinating things today: Finnish has four words for the interior layers of bark.

bark is: kaarna or tuohi (only of birch trees)

inside is nila (phloem)

then jälsi or mäihä (vascular cambium - two words, both beautiful!)

and from nila you make niini (bast fiber)

Finnish has got to be the richest language I know. It beats French by miles.

Yesterday after work I met up with Saga, who's Icelandic and also works at the market (how nice is it to say that you work at the market?!). She introduced me to her friend Laura Laakkonen. I spoke a lot of Finnish.

Next week I will be interviewed on the show Des kiwis et des hommes. They're doing a Language Week and I will be representing Icelandic! They should also be showing 5-6 pictures of Iceland off of my flickr. I think it's pretty neat! I just have to make sure not to forget all my French like I usually do when I have to explain things nowadays. I'm not sure how big of a deal this is.

Yesterday I learnt the French word rubicond. It means to have a red face. In Sámi I knew it already, it's ruksesnierat.

Uumenissani kaikki tuohta, kaikki iltapunaista. Veri mahlaa virtaa.

Mun ledjen stoahkame suoinnis

2009-06-17T05:24:00.007Z

Ég var að leika í grasinu
Olin peläämässä ruohossa
Rheumi i otohas

Mareumi i otohas hǫ matẻkse atero. Serisis ẻtta. Moųedas hǫ ảrrko, ireiko, heiko. Atis i ủtka tahierubo. Iatuorrukai utsi, iatuorrukai he ani-t. Iatelvika uorra-ha. Ảrraųa, sủdna, heia. Iasiloka, osilodia ! Sủksaųa !

Ẻnka kero utu o ksitat na Ỉrhanke ta. Ẻnka sa ů tiųo.

ICELANDIC NATIONAL DAY TODAY !
ÞJÓÐHÁTÍÐARDAGUR ÍSLENDINGA!

He could be sitting on a table right now, but you can't see him

2009-06-16T06:03:00.006Z

He wouldn't make people

God is somebody who rules the world.

If he was a bad man, he would make everything bad.

God isn't a person, but he's up in the heavens and he's watching over us right now.

He has such powerful eyes.

I guess he's kind of big and fat.

I AM NATIVE AMERICAN. I HAVE SHOVEL-SHAPED INCISORS

AND TONIGHT I AM HIGH.

We walked through the land into the valley. There was smoke rising from the boiling soil, there was a gray river streaming down from a bubbling pit of water. There were large birds plucking the ground's thick grass. We waded the warm river, took off our shoes and walked, on the wet and grassy banks of the low river. For hours barefoot in the wild. Following the river upstream from a fork, the soil was ochre and boiling. Like smokey veins running up the valley, hidden under the high grasses. Like mouths coughing up from the center of the earth their mineral breaths. We had our bodies rid of everything, like leathery mammals. Here no different then all the other animals, with only our skins. We dove into the warm river, dancing on the stoney bed.

Enkonhiákwahse', Aketsitsho'a.

2009-06-14T01:03:00.002Z

I will pick berries for you, my little fox.

I want to learn Mohawk. I know I am mohawk. I have the teeth to prove it. I can feel it. I am not completely European.

Today was a strange day. I started reading David Boring. I still listen to Cod'ine on repeat. Third day.

After work I hung out with Saga, the icelandic girl working at the market. She gave me vegetables and I went to her place, very close to here. It calmed me down from a jumpy day - someone got fired and I had two bosses today. My mom came to see me at my pause and she gave me 25$, 1.44$ of which went into buying two fruit. I missed this week's pay because I didn't have the papers ready. So I am super poor.

It felt so nice to bike slowly down the alley behind Park.

Tonight, I miss Kael and Jóna. It feels very heavy to know that I won't get to see him again until who knows. Sometimes I feel like because of my interest in foreign things, I am bound to always leave those I love far too early.

And my mother and father said whiskey's a curse.

Honey in the bones (Siwa version) - Sivildemotat

2009-06-12T08:07:00.003Z

A i ktẻbmo-ha sivi sảd tsuvi suvi-ha hǫ tỉrratahe anảbmęu ỉrrata. Hảtkakanot, ateita ẻtta amoųi na okerỉdlemag ta hǫ tỷrhu ę ohibami.

I siton aiheida ksimohe o osomi ỉrta hanhesoda sigoma. I adnohi ta tsura ủrhuika hǫ seta araikakso. Iataihela siro eikando odlẻnta na kỉska te bemio ksimoheiasǫ.

O keluve-ha atenki iasỉtka ontamida-ha etsaiala kẻrro i totaųatani kẻdlaianot tkoha sủrton ỏrke. Hide muorraųa, dlemo kohankaųa. Tahuųahe asahamus-ta i ủska amǫhakos ta. Iamǫha kẻrho-ha kerid-sa ẻkko hǫ ę iųeka-ha.

O ataras aiuiu viųo. Ůmąu-ne ůmąu-ne.

James Brown Nights

2009-06-12T04:16:00.004Z

This is Montréal. I have my room back. We listen to James Brown, we listen to Patti Smith, we listen to Buffy Sainte-Marie. We hang around, loiter at the church, share our lives in this narrow house.

I have a job now. I work at Le Capitol, an all encompassing italian store. There are two aisles and my job is to go and get what's missing on the shelves from downstairs. I have to clean stuff and sometimes I get to work with the butchers. It's actually fun. I feel like it's simple and it's kind of demanding physically (sweeping is so difficult for me). It's at the Jean-Talon market, so when I will have money I will be able to go and buy the freshest fruits in the whole city on my breaks. Nearly everyone there is italian and it's very different from what I am used to - I am not told what to do (the boss never asked for any personal information, and he just kind of tells me to fill the aisles and do this or that assuming I know what he's talking about). It's fun and I get to eat olives and taste salami all day long.

I have been living on about 50$ since I came back. I used my very last pennies to send Jóna a postcard.

I know I will be here shortly but it will be difficult leaving. Especially knowing that I won't have this house again next year, most likely. Having had this room twice makes it so much more "mine". I've lived my father's chemo here, I've had bad sex, good sex, I've cried and been drunk, I've discovered photography, I lived on my own for the first time in this house. It's a very good place with an awful bathroom.

I have the lights up again like last year, I have my chest drawer, I have Monsieur Patate, I have my icelandic flag. All of this kind of feels like a leap back in time, one year ago.

I've been getting very high with Heather and it's a lot of fun. I had forgotten how amazing everything feels when I'm high. Music is so much better, food is amazing, I can massage the hell out of any body part, hugs feel better than sex, I feel everything so much more focused. I write crazy poems in Finnish. And I never remember what I was saying a moment ago. Everything seems more possible, closer, funnier, more penetrating.

I've been listening to Cod'ine on repeat for an hour now. It's the most amazing song. I suggest strongly that you listen to it, who ever you might be.

I've been trying to watch Dune and The Abyss. It's been 4 days I started The Abyss. Only to be watched high.

I was fascinated by the Fremens' blue eyes when I saw the movie as a child.

Tonight I want to translate the last text I wrote in Finnish into Siwa. And read David Boring.

I know what I will get Jóna.

Beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful

2009-06-12T03:56:00.003Z

My belly is a-cravin', I got a shakin' in my head,
I feel like I'm dying, and I wish I was dead.
If I live 'til tomorrow, that'll be a long time,
But I'll reel and I'll fall and I'll rise on cod'ine,
And it's real, and it's reel, one more time.

Well, when I was a young girl, I learned not to care
For whiskey, and from it I often did swear.
My mother and father said, "Whiskey's a curse."
But the fate of their baby was many times worse,
And it's real, and it's reel, one more time.

Stay away from the cities; stay away from the town,
Stay away from the man pushin' the codeine around,
Stay away from the stores where the remedy is fine,
For better your pain than be caught on cod'ine,
And it's real, and it's reel, one more time.

You'll forget you're a woman, you'll forget about men,
Try it just once, and you'll try it again.
You'll forget about life, you'll forget about time,
And you'll live off your days as a slave to cod'ine,
And it's real, and it's reel, one more time.

But, if I die tomorrow, still one thing I've done,
I've heeded the warning that I got when I was young.
My one satisfaction, it comes when I think
That I'm livin' my life without bendin' to drink,
And it's real, and it's reel, one more time.

And my belly is a-cravin'; I got a shakin' in my head,
I feel like I'm dying, and I wish I was dead.
If I live 'til tomorrow, that'll be a long time,
But I'll reel and I'll fall and I'll die on cod'ine,
And it's reel, and it's reel, one more time.

Hunaja luissa.

2009-06-10T03:02:00.004Z

Luissani on hunajaa, jonka vuo valuu ja seuloutuu luun läpi suoniin. Haavoituttuani veri siirtyy ulos ihonpinnalle ja hyytyy kohti pohjoista.

Salaman välähdyksessä saan ylös vedestä hyppäävän kalan näkyviini.

Kokkoon heitetään käpyjä ja kuunnellaan rätinää. Seuraavan salaman välähtäessä tuijotan järvelle nähdäkseni sen kaksi kertaa.

Orreltaan eläin seuraa liikkeitäsi kun latvustot alkavat vihertyä kuun ilmestyttyään pilvivyöhykkeen takaa.

Hiuksesi tähkänä. Silmäsi sirppeinä. Henkesi höyryää yön näkymättömyyteen. Ihosi kesii ulos kuorestasi ja kohtaa huuleni.

Kaukana jokin ulvoo. Nuku, nuku.

An opportunity to remember dreams

2009-06-09T04:52:00.002Z

Memories of dreams are no different than any other type of memories and so they should not be overlooked. They could double our human experience.

Dreams I remember :

-in a large complex to keep children at malls, looks red and white, and there is a long tube with colored spots and I am down.

-being in a large shopping complex at night

-being at the shopping centers near the river.

-in the forest between my street and the country side (?)

My life has never been so italian. I now work at an italian butchershop, charcuterie, fine foods and general italianities. I place things on the shelves and I put prices on things. I don't talk to clients, I spend a lot of time alone downstairs, and there's no rush. I must clean occasional disgusting things, like cleaning the floors of the meet freezen and the grinder. Since I came back from Iceland I have spent less than 50$. I have biked a lot. I have gotten very high and I have talked with Jóna on gmail chat.

I still haven't moved into my room. I've been sharing heather's top bunkbed (there is no bottom). I don't have furniture and everything is on the floor and in my luggage. I am going insane because I need my alone time and my privacy these days more than ever.

I feel good - I think I can really not care about what people think of me. I only care about how I come across / look. I feel confident. I am young, I am educated, I speak 6-7 langauges, I am talented, in love, and I have a 3 year nearly 30,000$ grant.

Music is so much better high. It's so more sensual. I can feel the low beats coming at me and the high beats hitting my head.

Amazing Song

2009-06-09T04:49:00.001Z

Ghost Dance

2009-06-09T01:31:00.003Z

West to your mother

East to your father

North to your brother

South to your sister

Your foot on the piney ground

The bonfire on your eyes

Tonight is not over yet

Let the heat make your thirst come

Drink the blood from the animal

You will never die.

Uskomattomat vanhemmat

2009-06-08T03:35:00.002Z

I can't believe my parents managed to lose the first letter my first girlfriend ever sent me.

It makes me mad.

I've been going through old emails. The Erla-phase, the Birna-phase (which went on for so long) and I realize now how much I've changed. My feelings were all over the place. I was in love with every girl and it hurt and it was so intense and then all of a sudden I had lost all interest. Now it's less powerful (which is good) but steadier, more reliable, more real.

I don't let things bother me so much. The upside is that I can enjoy things better. The downside is that things seem a little less intense. But at least I don't feel like dying if someone bails on me.

It's amazing, this archive of me.

Come into my ribs.

2009-06-06T04:24:00.002Z

Honey, come over to me now.

I will kiss you welcome everywhere,

Time will be faster,

Our ribs will touch,

I will touch your temples,

And ask you how you are.

This time it's right now,

Nothing will change ever again,

Time will never change again,

Always at early twilight,

We will feel good.

Big Clouds

2009-05-30T18:35:00.003Z

The big white clouds rolling out behind the green poplars. The distinctive flapping of the leaves, soft green skin in the wind.

Geassi juo lea boahtán ja lottit odne iđitbeaivve gohččáha mu. In leat mange dahkan odne.

Pimo sỉbma - Soon the first thunderstorm of the summer

2009-05-29T17:55:00.002Z

Hitas i tsade ta sita nonga. Osebǫs amerąu iremisko hǫ osingaterasǫs. Nakses o ảulda ktet. Muas atero tǫ kįo tảsmo masahes, mảts atẻrmuvaro ỉrratảbmabi. Matẻkias i ảmda, matẻks suvo hǫ mảts kerho-ha leitami ẻtka. Takeųis tontatala i ateręu huųo i teihekka-ha, ksęrika ỉrrana. Syiųamo ẻrskas hǫ masilos sahasami. Ningas heil-da ỉrrahetada anảbmąu-ha ỉrrata, inyųeka-ha.

Iaitas utsi.

Einkarými

2009-05-29T17:39:00.003Z

Hverjum hefði dottið í hug að einkarými skipti svo miklu máli, gegndi svo mikilvægu hlutverki í efnafræðilegri vellíðan manns. Nú er ég heima hjá mér en heimilislaus. Það er ekki lás á hurðinni hér og heldur ekki herbergi í Sumarhúsum. Nú eru áhrifin uppáþrengjandi og áþreifanleg á líkama minn. Litlar breytingar í áferð húðarinnar, miklar sveiflur í skapi og kynhvöt, eirðarleysi en til einskis.

Ég vil bara koma mér fyrir, hreiðra um mig. Haluan jäljittää vahvuuttani.

Repeating heads

2009-05-26T23:19:00.003Z

I am in my kitchen. Our kitchen. The Hutch. My old apartment.

I am listening to The Horrors and trying to gather to courage to go to a party full of people I don't know. I'm wearing the same clothes I was wearing in the plane. I haven't washed anything. It is still full of Jóna. It is still full of our tearsalt. The salt that binds.

I have biked about 35 km in the last 24 hours. I can bike. I can sweat and be burnt by the sun.

I will let my hair grow long and my skin grow dark. I will let my muscles contract to the beat of my blood. I will breath in the harsh air into my lungs and will feel the smarting around my lips. I will be the machine inside of my body.

My body is a machine. My machine is an organized, social animal which lives mostly in large aggregates around rivers, lakes or seas. It is part of three main clans, two of which live in close contact on a small island. The third one is the newest and is the fruit of a long isolation also on an island. It does not hunt for its food. It eats berries and vegetables, fish and sometimes other animals.

Muutetut ja muuttumattomat

2009-05-23T20:14:00.005Z

Ég sit núna við matarborðið og úti er sól og risatrén í fullum blóma. En einhvern veginn virðist sem eitthvað sé ekki rétt. Ætli foreldrar mínir sjái ekki bara barnið sitt, óbreytt og tímalaust. En ég er ekki lengur barn - ég er ekki lengur íbúi þessa húss, ég á ekki einu sinni herbergi hér. Ég tel mig hafa þróast feikimikið undanfarin tvö ár, frá því ég flutti að heiman. En með stuttum heimsóknum og löngu millibili hefur þessi þróun hugsanlega aldrei átt sér stað hér í foreldrahúsi. Mér líður eins og ég hafi ekki einungis komið aftur heim heldur aftur í tímann. Það er komið fram við mig eins og ekkert hefði gerst, eins og ég hefði aldrei farið í eitt ár. Og það er ergjandi.

Pabbi er fúll og hann sýnir lítið sem ekkert merki um tilfinningar. Mamma er of mömmuleg. En fyrst og fremst vantar hjá þeim virðingu sem ég tel mig eiga skilda. Það er reykt í kringum mig þó að ég hafi beðið um að þau bíði. Það er ekki bankað á hurðina. Og það er ekki einu sinni liðinn sólarhringur síðan ég steig inn í þetta hús.

Ég sé vel núna þegar ég hef verið nógu lengi frá þeim, að foreldrar mínir eru gallaðir í botn. Ég er ekki nógu ungur lengur til að hafa mörg horn í síðu þeirra. En það fær mig ekki til að vilja vera með þeim. Ég vildi miklu frekar flytja sem fyrst til vina minna, sem eru ekki með fasta hugmynd um það hver ég ætti að vera.

Erfiðast er þó að vita af því að þeim gangi ekki vel. Pabbi er auðvitað með krabbamein, en mamma hefur elst svo gríðarlega mikið og fitnað. Mér líður hér eins og úr sér vaxið barn.

Annars líður mér vel hvað Jónu líður. Það er mjög sennilega erfiðara fyrir henni, fyrst hún er ennþá þar sem allt gerðist. Hér er ekkert sem tengist henni nema í ferðartöskunum mínum, en þær eru enn óopnaðar.

Ég hugsaði mikið til hennar í flugvélinni, en þetta er ekki jónuheimur. En hann verður það fljótlega, mér til mikillar tilhlökkunar.

Það var ekki einmannalegt að sofna einn í gærkvöldi, enda algjörlega búinn á því. En það kemur.

Ég er búinn að laga hjólið mitt. Ég er í stuttermabol og stuttbuxum. Heima er allt svo útlenskt.

Litla hjartað í mér er með stóruna.

Rakastan sinua.

Því fjær því óbreyttara

2009-05-23T04:58:00.002Z

Ég er kominn heim. Ég ligg í fyrirverandi herbergi bróður míns sem var málað allt grátt. Það er vond reykingalykt af hárinu á mér. Klukkan er fimm á Íslandi. En ég er þar ekkert.

Ég held að ég geymi íslenska tímann í símanum mínum. Allt er betra á Íslandi.

Flugin voru löng og leiðinleg. Hér hefur ekkert breyst. Mamma lítur eldri út og pabbi ennþá eins krabbameinssjúklingur. Ég er mjög þreyttur. Mig syfjar.

Ég elska þig.

Goodbye

2009-05-22T01:47:00.001Z

Goodbye Iceland. See you in August.

Tänään auringossa

2009-05-15T20:57:00.002Z

Nukuin rokuliin. Joona olisi lähdössä töihin ja mieleni hajalla unen tarpeen ja halauksen tarpeen välillä. Hän petasi hiljaa sänkynsä tietämättäni. Yritin päntätä vielä vähän tietoa suomen kielen historiasta ja murteista ennen tenttiä, ja lähdin sitten rauhallisesti. Ulkona kaikki näyttää nyt kesäiseltä, mutta tuuli on vielä viileää. Tentti meni hyvin. Palasin kotiin mutta ensin halusin maata vielä vähän aikaa ruohossa huoneeni ulkopuolella. Aurinko paistoi niin kuumasti, ettei päälläni ollut hihoja. Söin voileivän, jonka olin ostanut Haumasta. Tämän pienen lounaan jälkeen lipsahdin ikkunani läpi huoneeni sisälle. Myöhemmin, kiipesin ulos ikkunasta lukemaan vanhaa suomenkielistä kirjaa vanhoista eletyistä elämistä. Hämmästyin kosketellen kävyn täydellisestä kierteestä. Kuljin mäntyjen alhaalle ja tuijottelin auringon puiden kampaamia säteitä, suljin silmäni ja katsoin aurinkoon. Silmäni avattuani kaikki oli sinertynyt ja vaalentanut. Kottaraiset lensivät oheni. Pisamia tulee aina lisää. Kymmeniä kesäsilmiä. Älkööt katoko.

IT IS IT

2009-05-15T15:54:00.001Z

I am coming back next year for another 9 months of Iceland.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mykerö

2009-05-15T00:30:00.003Z

Voikukat mykeröissä. Me makasimme kuumassa vedessä ohimoihin asti, kädet kelluvat pinnalla suolan takia. Päämme ylhäältä aurinko sataa pisamia silmiemme ympärille ja hiljasta helleästä nesteesta ei kuulu mitään kuin veden roisketta ja paahteen äänettömiä säteitä. Ruumiimme vyöryvät ja kaukaa näkyy jäätänsä menettäviä vuoria ja toinen ranta. Hamaan haihtumiseemme saakka me haluamme aurinkoa, otamme sitä ihon läpi ja tunnemme sen kuumuutta lävistää meidät. Lähden viikon päästä pisamineni kotiin, paluun toiveineni.

Tango Merellä

2009-05-11T13:01:00.003Z

My last few days in Iceland.

Kael is leaving on Thursday.

I am leaving on the 22nd of may. I am very much counting on next year's grant.

On saturday, we woke up at midday and we drove to the salt water pool. We lay in the shallow water again. The air was very cold, the water very warm. The sun was open. We could see the mountains and the sea from where we were. We let the sun lick our skin. I collected my freckles. I have more and more freckles.

Then we went to eat. Then we crawled out my window onto the grass and took in more of it. Golden freckles and frisky wind. I took my favorite picture ever.

We went to Bláa lónið (blue lagoon) and enjoyed the muddy water to be kids.

Lying in bed with her is like being with a friend, then turn around and loose our clothes.

I am going home soon - I will move back to my apartment with my friends. They will let me sleep in their rooms while the other person gets ready to leave this house of friends.

Summer of Hutchison II.

I will miss the summer of Iceland. I will have to work.

I am excited about going home but because it's not yet secured that I am coming back, I have to keep in mind that I might not be leaving Iceland to come back. Which is very scary.

I try not to think about it. I try to make this fun so that none of us needs to think too much about the future.

I will be away from her for 2 months and a week, probably. It's a lot considering we just celebrated our 6 month anniversary.

I will miss:

Love

Smell

Touch

Talk

Laugh

Room

Sex

Pool

Sun

Speaking Icelandic

Sleeping with

Eating

Watching

But it will be okai.

Everything's going to be just fine.

Tango merellä

Oneiric mimicry.

2009-05-07T15:27:00.002Z

I had such an interesting dream yesterday. I had been reading about biological mimicry, which I find quite amazing. In my dream (things did not happen in the right chronological order, but I will overlook that) I found a dead sparrow. However, something seemed slightly off about it - for one thing it was very light but the patterns seemed to be split along the middle of the bird's back. After that, the bird split open alomg the middle of its back and out came a very small mammal-looking animal. Its fur was coal-black, and it looked very much like a miniature bear. The hair on its body was not hair however, it was more akin to the pigments on a butterfly's wings. It didn't really move and again something was off. Then I had a good look at its paws and from them there grew two long strings, similar to a butterfly's tongue, but these were obviously legs. They grew from under the paws, right in the middle, and were just a bit thicker than a human hair. It was both weird and creepy and I got scared.

I never did get a good look at the little bear's upper body. Two or three of these would have fit on my palm.

Then it was clear that the head of the insect/animal was that of a bat, but much smaller. It started standing on its very long legs (the hair-like legs were about 3-4 inches long) and it had a pair of wings, not much wider than the total of its body size. The wings had a white outline at the edges, and the bear-bat-butterfly didn't seem to be able to fly very agilely. I was in a room and it started flying towards me and I was a little bit afraid.

What a strange animal. Mimicry is amazing and so strange.

I would have to call it: Lepidopterarkos

περινάει ὑπὲρ τῷ βρύῳ

2009-05-03T22:03:00.003Z

Leijuu sammalikon ylhäällä.

Ef að vera bæri holdgerving náttúrunnar heildar, hvernig væri hún? Náttúran skipuleggst eftir eigin forsendum og lögmálum, í smærri sem stærri kerfum. Lögmálin ráðast af eiginleikum þess lífs sem þau eiga við. Hringrásin er lokuð; allt sem hlýðir ekki lögmálum formhýsils síns, þ.e.a.s þess forms sem byggt er á eiginleikum sínum, þykir óraunhæft og því er útrýmt. Sem leiðir einungis að einni niðurstöðu; að holdgerving náttúrunnar heildar getur ekkert verið nema nákvæmlega það sem náttúran er.

Ef til vill er erfitt að skilja að náttúran sé í raun eitt óslitið og samfellt lífform, vegna þess að hún á ekki samskonar líkama og hlutar sínir. En ef er litið á hana á öðrum skala er ljóst að hún er ekki ólík og við. Líkamar okkar felast í milljónum fruma sem standa saman vegna sameiginlegra þarfa - t.d. geta frumurnar í görnunum í okkur ekki lifað fyrir utan hýsil sinn því þær þarfnast samvinnu annarra fruma sem þar finnast. En það sama má segja um okkur - lítum á okkur sem mjög flóknar og vel þroskaðar frumur. Við getum ekki lifað í vatni því við þörfnumst súrefnis.

Í stuttu máli má segja að allt sem lifir sem heild felist í smærri heildum sem aftur felast í enn smærri heildum.

Og allt sem lifir hefur einn og sama tilgang, þá að halda áfram að lifa.

Og allt tengist og allt er háð öllu. Samskiptin eru orkan sem knýr hreyfingu alheimsins.

Hárið mitt og hold eru maturinn sem móðir mín borðaði. Ég er saltið og fitan, ég er grænmetið og ávextirnir sem hún borðaði.

Minä olen verso.

Paras aika vuodesta

2009-05-01T20:17:00.002Z

Yesterday was one of these amazing, long days that never end. I woke up in Jóna's bed to her coming back from school. I helped her bake bread (with yeast and all !) to make Pan-Bagnat in the shape of a double o (or 8) the night before and that morning she'd presented it to class. She brought a piece back for me and it was really good. A very nice way to start the day.

Then we decided to go to the pool despite the bad weather. Jóna bought a car this week, a little Renault Clio. So now we can go everywhere - so much fun! For that reason we decided to go to Seltjarnarnes' pool, which has salt water and is much - much nicer than Vesturbæjarlaug! As soon as we walked out from the changing rooms, the sun was shining and there was not a cloud in sight. We spent the next 2 hours or so laying in 10 inches or hot water, smoking into the cold air, taking in as much sun as we could. It was so so so good. The sun was so bright!

When we went home, I was covered in freckles, which needless to say made me really excited about being in the sun. You see, having freckles is something I used to dream of, and right then I had a lot of freckles, all of a sudden. It was so much fun, I was so proud of them!

We were hungry. Downtown, everyone was outside. There was such amazing weather - it was like abroad.

We got ourselves suchi to go at Sushibarinn where Arnór works. We took it to the garden outside my window and ate outside. Everything is so green now.

After that we went home again, and that was a lot of fun. Loosing our clothes in summertime.

After that we went to see Jóna's best friend Ingibjörg who'd flown in from Höfn that day. She was at this amazing appartment with windows all around, on top of a building on Skólavörðustígur, corner of Týsgata.

Later we went out and we fell asleep in my bed.

Chiharu Hori, Hirono Honda and Anna Piskarjova have now left Iceland.

Everyone's leaving, I want to come back.

Goodbye horses

2009-04-29T00:35:00.002Z

Tomorrow is my first final exam. It marks the beginning of the end.

I can't go to sleep. I hope I will cry enough that I will fall asleep to my wet pillow.

This year has been amazing. Iceland is nothing like what I imagined. Instead it's filled with memories of amazing people. Great people. People who have shaped me a lot.

I don't want this to end. What if I don't get to come back?

Crying so hard that it reminds me of the pressure I feel when I vomit.

Things that fascinate me

2009-04-28T13:31:00.006Z

Here are a few things which absolutely fascinate me, and that I think everyone should read about.

Genetics.

Genetics are amazing because it is all so complex and difficult to grasp, but it is still possible to understand a lot without a degree in chemistry. Genetics are hugely important in the understanding of the evolution of life from non-life and they truly helped me understand some shady concepts like how one new thing is made from two old things. It is also a beautiful thing to understand that every single thing in our body is dependent and so is everything outside of our bodies.

Things I find interesting about Genetics:

- DNA, RNA

- Role of RNA

- RNA organisms

- Mitochondrial DNA

- Haplogroups

- Haplotypes !

- Mutations

- Human Migration

Phenotypes

Although phenotypes are closely related to genetics, they are much more palpable and visisble phenomena than let's say mitochondrial mutations. Phenotypes can also help you understand which part of you is from which parent and where that parent comes from, which autosomal recessive genes you are lucky to have - what kind of human phenotype bearer you are. For instance, I have:

Much darker eyes than my brother and father

My darker hair than my brother and father

Much bigger teeth than my brother

Shovel-shaped incisors (just confirmed! - found in Native Americans and Asians, not in Europeans)

Detached earlobes (dominant)

Phosphaturia

Hip scoliosis (?)

Haplogroups and Mitochondrial DNA

These are also part of genetics but human migration has got to be one of the most fascinating things I have found to read about. It is my own personal fantasy to be of the X haplogroup. MtDNA is very understandable and easily accessible to anyone who wants to put the energy into understanding it.

The mitochondrion is a small membrane enclosed organelle within most eukaryotic (complex membrane-enclosed) cells which is responsible for producing ATP (adenosine triphosphate) or heat. It is the oven of our cells - from the cell walls, glucose is brought into the mitochondrion and burned to create heat. Mitochondria are believed to have been independent bacteria-like prokaryotes which formed a symbiotic alliance with other organisms and ended up being swallowed into their hosts. This might explain why mitochondria have their own string of DNA completely different from that inclosed in the cells nucleus. So although you have your own special DNA used to create and organize cells in your body, within your cells is a smaller cell with its own DNA. And it turns out that within the string of DNA, there is a small bit within the control region of the MtDNA loop which holds extremely regular DNA which mutates at very slow rates.

Being able to look at this regular control region MtDNA, we are able to see a string of proteins which mutates at a very slow rate (for example, one mutation every 1000 years). And because MtDNA is matrilineal (only mothers pass on their MtDNA - every has the MtDNA of their mothers), we can take any two human beings in the world, look at their MtDNA, compare how many mutations they have. If these two human beings have ten mutations from each other, then we can tell that they shared a common mother 10,000 years ago (10x1000).

So you can imagine the rest - we are able to look at how every single human being is related to a common mother far back in time. And it is only logical (though very counterintuitive) that every living human can trace back his mother to a common one. Every single living human being shared a mother a very long time ago in Africa. This woman is called mitochondrial Eve and is the mother of all human beings. She was not the only living mother at the time, but she must have had two daughters who's sons and daughters were the only survivors in the long run.

The emplacement of mutations within the string of about 500 (I think) proteins in the Control Region makes up your haplogroup. Thus, a haplogroup is a pool of people who share the same mutations on the same proteins. Haplotypes are further split down groups.

(numbers indicate thousands of years)

By taking a cell in your body, you can find out which haplogroup you are of. Then you can know how long your ancestors lived where the lived, where they came from and how they are related to other people of the world. The amazing thing is how surprising these relations can be - they are genetic, not social or linguistic, and span over a huge amount of time.

The most amazing thing about finding out your haplogroup is to understand how short it was since any two people shared their ancestral mother, had the same grand-grand-grand-grand-(x1000)-mother.

This to me is so fascinating. Of course I should deepen my knowledge of all of this, but so far this is what I have.

It's captivating.

Biology

I am adding this now. Biology is also great. Just now I understood that the tree I know the best is:

Populus deltoides deltoides

If I ever have a girl in Iceland she will have to be called Ösp.